IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6.5

The graph shows average annual expenditure on cell phone and residential phone services between 2001 and 2010. Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

The graph shows average annual expenditure on cell phone and residential phone services between 2001 and 2010. Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
The line chart depicts the average yearly cost of mobile
phone
Use synonyms
 and residential
phone
Use synonyms
 services from the year 2001 to 2010 in
USD
Use synonyms
.
Overall
Linking Words
,
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
both services witnessed increased and decreased. On one hand,
cell
Use synonyms
phone
Use synonyms
 facilities experienced
climed
Correct your spelling
a
moderately
Replace the word
moderate
show examples
,
Check wording
climb, on
show examples
on the other hand
Linking Words
, residential calls faced
gradual
Correct article usage
a gradual
show examples
 drop.
To begin
Linking Words
 with, in
2001
Punctuation problem
2001,
show examples
 telephone services stood at 700
USD
Use synonyms
.
Next,
Linking Words
it fell slowly and reached
at
Change preposition
apply
show examples
around 400
USD
Use synonyms
 in 2010
while
Linking Words
 the
cell
Use synonyms
phone
Use synonyms
 cost at
the
Correct pronoun usage
its
show examples
 peak. The
cell
Use synonyms
phone
Use synonyms
 average annual cost started from 200
USD
Use synonyms
Linking Words
then
Punctuation problem
, then
show examples
 significantly increased and reached
at
Change preposition
apply
show examples
well above 700
USD
Use synonyms
 in 2010. The statistics represented a shift from residential
phone
Use synonyms
 to
cell
Use synonyms
phone
Use synonyms
 taken
near
Change preposition
over
show examples
 a
decde
Correct your spelling
decade
.
However
Linking Words
, in
year
Correct article usage
the year
show examples
2006
Add a comma
2006,
show examples
 the average expense of both phones
were
Correct subject-verb agreement
was
show examples
same
Correct article usage
the same
show examples
which
Punctuation problem
, which
show examples
 was 500
USD
Use synonyms
 each.
Moreover
Linking Words
, the shift from telephone to
cell
Use synonyms
phone
Use synonyms
was
Verb problem
did
show examples
 not
happened
Wrong verb form
happen
show examples
over a night
Use the right word
overnight
show examples
. It was a moderate
declined
Replace the word
decline
show examples
of
Change preposition
in
show examples
 telephone and
rapid
Correct article usage
a rapid
show examples
rose
Replace the word
rise
show examples
of
Change preposition
in
show examples
 mobile
phone
Use synonyms
.

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
▼
Vocabulary: Replace the words phone, usd, cell with synonyms.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "increased" was used 2 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "reached" was used 2 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "moderately" was used 2 times.
▼
Topic Vocabulary:
  • average
  • expenditure
  • cell phone
  • residential phone
  • services
  • increase
  • decrease
  • significant
  • spending
  • surpassed
  • gap
  • preferences
  • shift
  • changes
  • technology
  • usage
  • patterns
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