IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

The chart below shows numbers of adults participating in different major sports in one area, in 1997 and 2017. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

The chart below shows numbers of adults participating in different major sports in one area, in 1997 and 2017. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
The given data shows information about the
amount
Check wording
number
show examples
 of individuals who participated in various sporting
activites
Correct your spelling
activities
 in the years 1997 and 2017 in a particular area. The sports played were Tennis, Basketball,
Cricket
Use synonyms
, Golf, Swimming, Football, and Rugby.
Overall
Linking Words
 , it can
Verb problem
be
show examples
observed that
number
Correct article usage
the number
show examples
 of individuals who played Football, Rugby , Tennis and
Cricket
Use synonyms
 increased over the period.
While
Linking Words
 Golf and Swimming had almost equal figures in both
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
years.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, the sport which saw a decline in the numbers was
Cricket
Use synonyms
. The sports , Football and Rugby were enjoyed by 30,00 to 31,000 people in 1997
which
Punctuation problem
, which
show examples
 rose
upto
Use the right word
up to
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 58,000 in 2017. A similar
up ward
Use the right word
upward
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 trend was noticed in the figure for people enjoying Tennis with 50,000 (1997) to 55,000 (2017).
However
Linking Words
 , the highest surge was observed in the number of individuals who preferred playing basketball, which was less than 10,000 in 1997 to almost 22,000 in 2017. Swimming and Golf did not
saw
Wrong verb form
see
show examples
 any fluctation in the proportion
gaining
Punctuation problem
, gaining
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 a relatively stable figure in both
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
years
which
Punctuation problem
, which
show examples
 was 33,000 and 35,000
respectively
Punctuation problem
, respectively
show examples
. Meanwhile, the sport that was played less in 2017 than in 1997 was
Cricket
Use synonyms
 . Around 25,000 people played it
1997
Change preposition
in 1997
show examples
 and 5,000 in 2017.

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Introduction: The introduction is missing.
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Introduction: The chart intro is missing.
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Introduction: The chart intro is missing.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words cricket with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: The word "figures" was used 3 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "figures" was used 3 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "number of" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "almost" was used 2 times.
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Topic Vocabulary:
  • participation rates
  • adult demographic
  • comparison
  • percent change
  • significant increase/decrease
  • trend analysis
  • sports popularity
  • ranking changes
  • general patterns
  • social factors
  • 20-year period
  • time span
  • major sports
  • data interpretation
  • highlight features
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