IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 7.5

The graph shows average annual expenditure on cell phone and residential phone services between 2001 and 2010. Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

The graph shows average annual expenditure on cell phone and residential phone services between 2001 and 2010. Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
THE LINE CHART PROVIDES KEY INFORMATION ABOUT THE SPENDING ON CELL
PHONE
Use synonyms
 AND RESIDENTIAL
PHONE
Use synonyms
 SERVICES, IN THE
PERIOD
Use synonyms
 BETWEEN 2001 AND 2010. THE UNITS ARE MEASURED IN NUMBERS. AT GLANCE, THE TWO LINES ARE EXACTLY THE OPPOSITE OF EACH OTHER, FORMING SHAPE X.
MOREOVER
Linking Words
, THERE WAS NO OBVIOUS ALTERNATIVE IN THE GRAPH, THROUGHOUT THE WHOLE
PERIOD
Use synonyms
.
ACCORDING TO
Linking Words
 WHAT IS SHOWN , THE EXPENDITURE OF CELL
PHONE
Use synonyms
 SERVICES IN 2001
,
Punctuation problem
apply
show examples
 STARTED WITH JUST 200$, RISING STEADILY DURING THE WHOLE
PERIOD
Use synonyms
. IN 2002, THE SPENDING OF THE SAME CATEGORY SLIGHTLY INCREASED
100$
Change preposition
by 100$
show examples
,
THEN
Linking Words
 IT REMAINED GROWING UNTIL 2010, WITH OVER 700$. IN TERMS OF THE RESIDENTIAL
PHONE
Use synonyms
 SERVICES IN 2001, THEY ALLOCATED LESS THAN 700$, WHICH WAS APPROXIMATELY THE SAME ENDING WITH OTHER CATEGORIES.
WHEREAS
Linking Words
, THE NUMBER OF SPENDING STARTED DROPPING, ADJACENT TO AROUND 500$ TROUGHOUT 2006.
SUBSEQUENTLY
Linking Words
, THERE WAS NO NOTABLE
CHANGE
Correct your spelling
CHANGE.
,
Punctuation problem
apply
show examples
 THE FIGURE COMPLETED ITS DECLINE TILL THE END OF THE
PERIOD
Use synonyms
 WITH 400$.

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Vocabulary: Replace the words phone, period with synonyms.
▼
Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "information" in your introduction.
▼
Topic Vocabulary:
  • average
  • expenditure
  • cell phone
  • residential phone
  • services
  • increase
  • decrease
  • significant
  • spending
  • surpassed
  • gap
  • preferences
  • shift
  • changes
  • technology
  • usage
  • patterns
What to do next:
Look at other essays: