IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5.5

how does the map describe the change of village park ?

how does the map describe the change of village park ?
The two maps illustrate the transformation of
village
Correct article usage
the village
show examples
 park from 2015 to the present day.
Overall
Linking Words
,
it is clear that
Linking Words
most
Correct article usage
the most
show examples
 noticeable change
is done
Wrong verb form
has been
show examples
with
Change preposition
in
show examples
football
Correct article usage
the football
show examples
 pitch and tennis court
since
Change preposition
over
show examples
Linking Words
last
Correct article usage
the last
show examples
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
decade.
Moreover
Linking Words
, public facilities are added
Linking Words
as
Punctuation problem
, as
show examples
 well as
expansion
Correct article usage
the expansion
show examples
 of some areas.
To begin
Linking Words
 with, earlier tennis court was only for two people
,
Punctuation problem
;
show examples
Linking Words
however
Add a comma
however,
show examples
 it has been extended
for
Change preposition
to
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
four people.
Similarly
Linking Words
, car parking capacity has changed from 20 to 50, which gives
comfortable
Replace the word
comfort
show examples
 to the public. Ten years ago,
Correct article usage
the children
show examples
children
Check wording
children's
show examples
 park was unorganised and small, but today, it is not only developed with
the
Correct article usage
a
show examples
 structure but
also
Linking Words
built
Verb problem
has
show examples
Correct article usage
a children
show examples
children
Check wording
children's
show examples
 softplay area for playing games. Another development
is
Verb problem
has
show examples
 happened
at
Change preposition
in
show examples
 the south-east area, where woods are
demolished
Verb problem
being demolished
show examples
 and
built
Verb problem
apply
show examples
public facilities
such
Linking Words
 as
Cafe
Correct article usage
a Cafe
show examples
, fresh areas
.
Verb problem
are being built.
show examples
Linking Words
While on
Change preposition
On
show examples
 the opposite side, public cinema was established . After that,
pond
Correct article usage
the pond
show examples
 is
transfered
Correct your spelling
transferred
 into the boating lake where people can enjoy the view,
along with
Linking Words
 that football pitch is expanded
little
Correct article usage
a little
show examples
 bit vertically.
Lastly
Linking Words
,
cycle
Correct article usage
a cycle
show examples
 path was created along the border of the park.

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Conclusion: The conclusion is too long.
Basic structure: Change the fourth paragraph.
▼
Vocabulary: Only 5 basic words for charts were used.
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Vocabulary: The word "change" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the fourth paragraph.
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Topic Vocabulary:
  • map
  • park
  • village
  • change
  • now
  • then
  • before
  • after
  • left
  • right
  • top
  • bottom
  • side
  • entrance
  • gate
  • path
  • track
  • fence
  • bench
  • playground
  • swing
  • slide
  • pond
  • lawn
  • grass
  • trees
  • tree
  • flowers
  • bed
  • space
  • area
  • zone
  • build
  • make
  • add
  • added
  • remove
  • removed
  • move
  • moved
  • stay
  • same
  • new
  • old
  • big
  • small
  • long
  • short
  • wide
  • narrow
  • near
  • far
  • beside
  • next to
  • in front of
  • behind
  • between
  • compared with
  • as
  • more
  • less
  • fewer
  • layout
  • plan
  • design
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