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Writing Samples
Band 6.5

The graph below shows the quantities of goods transported in the UK between 1974 and 2002 by four different modes of transport.

The graph below shows the quantities of goods transported in the UK between 1974 and 2002 by four different modes of transport.
The line graph represents how many
goods
Use synonyms
 were transported in
UK
Correct article usage
the UK
show examples
 over
Correct article usage
a 28-year-period
show examples
28-year-
Correct your spelling
28-year period
period
Use synonyms
 of time via four modes of transport.
Overall
Linking Words
, the
goods
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 transported by road remained dominant throughout the years
reaching
Punctuation problem
, reaching
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 about 100
million
Use synonyms
tonnes
Use synonyms
at the end
Linking Words
 of the
period
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. Another interesting fact is that
although
Linking Words
 the figures
of
Change preposition
for
show examples
 water and rail
transportation
Use synonyms
 were the same at the beginning, the
Use synonyms
numbers
Fix the agreement mistake
number
show examples
 of water
transportation
Use synonyms
 surpassed
those
Correct determiner usage
that
show examples
 of rail
transportation
Use synonyms
 by more than 20
million
Use synonyms
tonnes
Use synonyms
. The figures
of
Change preposition
for
show examples
pipeline
Correct article usage
the pipeline
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 witnessed a sharp but relatively modest increase. The
Use synonyms
numbers
Fix the agreement mistake
number
show examples
 of road
fluctuated
Check wording
vehicles fluctuated
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 between 1975 and about 1983 but recovered quickly and saw a sharp rise and almost reached 100
million
Use synonyms
tonnes
Use synonyms
, ending the
period
Use synonyms
 as the still dominant
transportation
Use synonyms
 mode of the UK. The
goods
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 transported by water started at 40
million
Use synonyms
tones
Use the right word
tonnes
show examples
 and remained
steadily
Replace the word
steady
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 till about 1979, after which it saw a slight rise
reaching
Punctuation problem
, reaching
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 50
million
Use synonyms
tones
Use the right word
tonnes
show examples
. The
numbers
Use synonyms
 remained constant again and saw a sharp increase
at the end
Linking Words
 of the
period
Use synonyms
, placing it under
mode
Correct article usage
the mode
show examples
 of
trasportation
Correct your spelling
transportation
 by road.
Regards to
Replace the word
Regarding
show examples
 rail, the figures remained flat till about 1979.
Then
Linking Words
, they dipped slightly
reaching
Punctuation problem
, reaching
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 about 30
million
Use synonyms
tonnes
Use synonyms
 and fluctuated, ending the
period
Use synonyms
 with the same
numbers
Use synonyms
 as
it
Correct pronoun usage
they
show examples
 started in the beginning. The
goods
Use synonyms
 transported by pipeline
was
Correct subject-verb agreement
were
show examples
 the lowest in the
beginning
Punctuation problem
beginning,
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 with less than 10
million
Use synonyms
tonnes
Use synonyms
but
Punctuation problem
, but
show examples
 it witnessed
sharp
Correct article usage
a sharp
show examples
rose
Replace the word
rise
show examples
reaching
Punctuation problem
, reaching
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 more than 20
million
Use synonyms
tonnes
Use synonyms
and
Punctuation problem
, and
show examples
 remained
steadily
Replace the word
steady
show examples
thought
Use the right word
throughout
show examples
 the years.

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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "at the end".
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Vocabulary: Replace the words goods, million, tonnes, period, transportation, numbers with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "undefined" in your introduction.
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Vocabulary: The word "figures" was used 3 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "figures" was used 3 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "numbers of" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "increase" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "remained" was used 5 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "rise" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "fluctuated" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "about" was used 5 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "slight" was used 2 times.
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Topic Vocabulary:
  • Transported goods
  • Quantities
  • Trends
  • Modes of transport
  • Rail
  • Road
  • Water
  • Pipeline
  • Fluctuations
  • Predominance
  • Economic influences
  • Societal changes
  • Technological advancements
  • Environmental impact
  • Growth
  • Steady increase/decrease
  • Comparison
  • Period (e.g., decade, years)
  • Examination
  • Implications
  • Analysis
  • Conclusion
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