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Writing Samples
Band 6.5

The pie charts show the main reasons for migration to and from the UK in 2007.

The pie charts show the main reasons for migration to and from the UK in 2007.
These pie charts compare the
proportion
Use synonyms
 of multiple reasons for
immigration
Use synonyms
 and
emigration
Use synonyms
 in the
UK
Use synonyms
 during 2007.
Overall
Linking Words
, these main reasons were formal study, accompanying, looking for work, definite job, no reason stated, and other. It was
obviously
Replace the word
obvious
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 that the
proportion
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 of studying in the
UK
Use synonyms
 was the
most
Correct word choice
largest
show examples
 part of
immigration
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,
while
Linking Words
 studying abroad was the lowest
proportion
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 of
emigration
Use synonyms
 in 2007. Examining the details, the figure
of
Change preposition
for
show examples
 studying accounted for 26% of
immigration
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 and 4% of
immigration
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. The calculation of no reason stated was 6% of the people who moved to the
UK
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,
whereas
Linking Words
 it saw
a quite
Correct word order
quite a
show examples
 difference from
who
Correct pronoun usage
those who
show examples
 left
from
Change preposition
apply
show examples
the
UK
Use synonyms
. The percentage of the public who left the
UK
Use synonyms
 was 18%. The proportions of
who
Correct pronoun usage
those who
show examples
was
Correct subject-verb agreement
were
show examples
 looking for work had a 10% difference
from
Change preposition
between
show examples
immigration
Use synonyms
 and
immigration
Use synonyms
 (12% and 22% respectively). The population who had
the
Correct article usage
a
show examples
 definite job, relatives, and
other
Fix the agreement mistake
others
show examples
 had a slight difference between these two pie charts. The
proportion
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 of the definite job was 30% in
immigration
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 and 29% in
emigration
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. The
part
Check wording
proportion
show examples
 of accompanying in
immigration
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 and
emigration
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 was 15% and 13%, respectively. The figure
of
Change preposition
for
show examples
other
Fix the agreement mistake
others
show examples
 was 15%, who moved to the
UK
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, and 13% , who left the
UK
Use synonyms
.

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words proportion, immigration, emigration, uk with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: The word "charts" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "figure" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "figure" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "difference" was used 3 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "proportion" was used 5 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "moved" was used 2 times.
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