IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

More and more people are finding it increasingly important to wear fashionable clothes. Is this attitude to wearing clothes a positive or negative development?

In recent years, the majority of
people
Use synonyms
 argue that the importance of wearing trendy outfits
increasingly
Verb problem
has increasingly
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plays
Wrong verb form
played
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 a vital role in an individual's life.
While
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this
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 trend has positive ramifications, there are more drawbacks to be considered ,
such
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 as high costs and a decrease
the
Change preposition
in the
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 per
sonal
Correct your spelling
personal
 creativity skills. In my point of view,
i
Verb problem
I have
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 evidence that negative effects are far more outweighed by their positive ones.
To begin
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 with, the uncontrollable rise in price of newly fashioned clothes is one of the key causes of the adverse effects of
this
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 concept. To illustrate, spending more
money
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 on temporarily fashionable attire is a waste of
this
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money
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,
Punctuation problem
;
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instead
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,
people
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 can utilise it in numerous projects that have beneficial results for the community ,
such
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 as preventing poverty and helping homeless
people
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 to find shelters.
As a consequence
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,
this
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 may lead to useless ways to spend
money
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 on unvaluable matters.
Furthermore
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, by following every up-to-date fashion , self-creativity can be diminished.
In other words
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,
people
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 can be mentally dependent on others in terms of decision-making and self-esteem traits. A prime example of
this
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 is in Japan, where the authorities have prevented commuters , especially students, from following fashionable trends related to revealing clothes that owing to violating the society's rules and standards.
Therefore
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,
this
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 approach results in destroying family connections and lowering the quality of living.
To sum up
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,
although
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 following fashions has some benefits, the bad consequences need to be more accountable ,
such
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 as wasting
of
Change preposition
apply
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money
Use synonyms
 and weakening family bonds.

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task
Make the view very clear in one line at the start. Do not mix ideas about good or bad effects.
coherence
Stick to one main idea in each paragraph. Start with a short sentence that tells what the paragraph will say, then add explain.
coherence
Use simple connect words to show order: First, Also, Then, Finally. This keeps ideas connected.
language
Check grammar and spelling. Keep sentences short. Avoid long, run-on sentences.
task
There is a clear topic and a view is stated.
coherence
Some linking words are used to show sequence and contrast.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • fashionable
  • important
  • clothes
  • attitude
  • positive
  • negative
  • development
  • confidence
  • self-esteem
  • express
  • personality
  • creativity
  • industry
  • jobs
  • economy
  • opportunities
  • pressure
  • trends
  • stress
  • anxiety
  • consumerism
  • waste
  • overspending
  • environmental
  • pollution
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