IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

Nowadays, many animal species are becoming extinct. Some people believe that countries and individuals must solve this problem, others believe that human beings are more important. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

The world is a different place today,especially when it comes to animal life. The world is losing many kinds of
animals
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. The reaction towards that issue varies between
people
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 who think that the life of
humans
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 should be the priority, and between
people
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 who think that individuals and governments should cooperate to protect
animals
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.
This
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 essay will discuss both points of view and will clarify my opinion.
People
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 who support the idea of putting more effort by individuals and governments to protect extinct animal
species
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,
Punctuation problem
apply
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 believe that those
species
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 are part of a large circle. Losing those parts will end up damaging the whole circle. They mean the
environment
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 by that circle. So that the existence of those
animals
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 means that
humans
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 are living in a healthy
environment
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.
However
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, other
people
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 may think that human beings are more important than the
lives
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 of rare
species
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 of
animals
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. Their point of view is based mainly on the idea that the presence of
such
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species
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 may threaten human beings'
lives
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.
For instance
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, in many areas close to the desert in my country,
humans
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 are in danger from a rare
species
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 of foxes. My opinion in
such
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 a case is that individuals and governments should cooperate to protect
animals
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who
Correct pronoun usage
that
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 are becoming extinct without neglecting the importance of human beings'
lives
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. As it was mentioned previously that each
species
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 is part of
this
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environment
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. They have
right
Correct article usage
the right
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 to live in a protected
environment
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 without causing any kind of threat
on
Change preposition
to
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 other kinds of
animals
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.
Also
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,
goverments
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governments
 should spend some money on researches that consider
such
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 a kind of
animals
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. In conclusion, balancing between the efforts to protect extinct
animals
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 and the importance of
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humans
Fix the agreement mistake
human
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lives
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 is the ideal way to overcome that issue.

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task response
Your answer needs more clear detail. add more points and give a clear example for each point.
coherence
Link sentences and ideas with better flow. use clear topic sentences for each paragraph and end with a short link to the next idea.
content
You show both sides of the issue and give your own view.
structure
There is a clear structure with introduction, body and ending.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

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