IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

Some people say that it is possible to tell a lot about a person’s culture and character from their choice of clothes. Do you agree or disagree?

There has been a controversy for a long time
that
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about whether
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 what a person wears reflects his/her culture and character. In my opinion,
it
Correct pronoun usage
there
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does not have
Verb problem
is no
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a
Correct article usage
apply
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necessary connection between them. With the rapid development of
globalization
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globalisation
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 around the world,
people
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 from different countries are more likely to wear the same kind of clothing. If you observe
people
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’s dressing style in rush hours in different cities in the world, especially in
metropolis
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metropolises
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, it is not surprising that commuters wear nothing different but colours or materials. It is hard to tell
people
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’s characters from the same combination of T-shirts, jeans and sneakers, because these kinds of clothing are quite usual and available for city dwellers. What’s more, nowadays it is extremely easy to buy clothing from other countries through
internet
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the internet
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, which enhances the homogenization
on
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of
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 what we wear. On the other side,
people
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 wear different kinds of clothing mainly because of their jobs. One obvious fact is that
people
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work
Correct pronoun usage
who work
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 in finance always wear
suit
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suits
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 and leather shoes
Linking Words
while
Punctuation problem
, while
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 engineers will probably have
blue
Correct article usage
a blue
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 jacket as their uniform. It is impossible to tell two
people
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’s culture and characters if they are just following their dress code. Remember that the main use of clothing is keeping warm and enabling human
being
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beings
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 to do some kinds of work or sports. So, only a little information can be found for one’s character, not a lot. In conclusion,
people
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 in modern cities are more likely to wear no
difference
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differences
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, so less information
of
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about
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 character can be found from the clothing because of
globalization
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globalisation
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 and occupation.

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Task achievement
State your main view clearly in the introduction and restate it in the conclusion.
Task achievement
Give more real examples to support your point about clothes and culture and how it affects people.
Grammar
Fix grammar and word use to sound natural. For example, use 'On the other hand' and 'rush hour'; adjust phrases about clothes as a 'uniform'.
Coherence
Use more linking words to show how ideas connect and flow from one idea to the next.
Coherence
Keep sentences clear and not too long, and check for spelling mistakes.
Strength
Clear stance from the start.
Strength
Reasonable structure with intro, body, and conclusion.
Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • garments
  • traditional attire
  • sartorial choices
  • expressive style
  • cultural identity
  • psychological implications
  • non-verbal cues
  • globalization
  • perceptions
  • professional demeanor
  • societal norms
  • economic constraints
  • subcultures
  • fashion movements
  • individualism
  • stereotype
What to do next:
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