IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

Some people think that governments should focus more on reducing environmental pollution and housing problems to help people prevent illness and disease. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

It is often
argue
Wrong verb form
argued
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 that governments should
priorize takeling
Correct your spelling
prioritise tackling
 environmental problems and
improve
Wrong verb form
improving
show examples
 housing
conditions
Use synonyms
, since these problems are major contributing factors to
incrasing
Correct your spelling
increasing
 illness among citizens. I completely agree with
this
Linking Words
 opinion for boosting public health standards.
Firstly
Linking Words
, environmental
pollution
Use synonyms
 like poor air quality is
direclty
Correct your spelling
directly
 associated with health
conditions
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. Most of the
people
Use synonyms
are
Verb problem
apply
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living in metropolitan
suffer
Check wording
areas suffer
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 from respiratory diseases or lung cancer.
Goverments
Correct your spelling
Governments
 should
encouraged
Wrong verb form
encourage
show examples
people
Use synonyms
 to use
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
public transportation services and electric cars to decrease greenhouse gas emissions
of
Change preposition
from
show examples
 cars and other gasoline vehicles.
Moreover
Linking Words
, water
pollution
Use synonyms
 in some undeveloped areas
creats
Correct your spelling
creates
 profound issues for
inabitants
Correct your spelling
inhabitants
. If
governmets
Correct your spelling
governments
 implemented strict policies for industrial factories, which pour their waste into the ocean or local rivers,
amount
Correct article usage
the amount
show examples
 of
pollution
Use synonyms
 would be decreased.
For example
Linking Words
, many
people
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, particularly children in Sistan and
Baloochestan
Correct your spelling
Balochestan
 province of
Iran
Punctuation problem
Iran,
show examples
 struggle with waterborne diseases.
As a result
Linking Words
, the number of
people
Use synonyms
 suffering from
such
Linking Words
 illnesses
come
Verb problem
would decline
show examples
from
Change preposition
as
show examples
 air and water
pollution
Use synonyms
would decline
Verb problem
decreases
show examples
.
Furthermore
Linking Words
, housing quality
also
Linking Words
 plays a vital role in
people
Use synonyms
's health. In some areas, overcrowding and
poor
Replace the word
poorly
show examples
 maintained buildings
creat
Use the right word
create
show examples
 deprived living
conditions
Use synonyms
 for their dwellers.
For instance
Linking Words
, lack of adequate ventilation in
home
Correct article usage
the home
show examples
 space and limited access to sunlight can lead to increasing mental issues and stress
level
Fix the agreement mistake
levels
show examples
. By investing reliable budgets for infrastructure
safe
Punctuation problem
, safe
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 and efficient housing projects in cities,
Linking Words
this
Fix the agreement mistake
these
show examples
 issues can
address
Wrong verb form
be addressed
show examples
, which governments could ensure that
people
Use synonyms
 live in healthier environments. In conclusion, l strongly believe that by improving
people
Use synonyms
's housing
conditions
Use synonyms
 and
environmetal
Correct your spelling
environmental
 standards,
governemts
Correct your spelling
governments
 can
effective
Replace the word
effectively
show examples
 prevent a wide range of illnesses. Some measures not only protect the
environmnet
Correct your spelling
environment
 but
also
Linking Words
 enhance
people
Use synonyms
's
overall
Linking Words
 quality of life.

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task response
State your view clearly in one line at the start; keep to one side. Then give 2-3 reasons with short ideas and a short example for each.
coherence
Use clear links like first, also, but, and finally to show how your ideas fit together.
language
Make sentences shorter and cleaner; check spellings and grammar to avoid misread.
examples
Give a specific example for each point and connect it to your main idea.
stance
The writer shows a clear view and keeps to the end.
content
Some examples are used and the topic of health is kept in mind.
coherence
There are links that show how pollution affects health.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • respiratory diseases
  • heart conditions
  • incidence
  • affordable housing
  • stress
  • infectious diseases
  • preventative measures
  • cost-effective
  • healthcare infrastructure
  • comprehensive approach
  • global warming
  • climate change
  • exacerbated
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