IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4

Some people think that school children need to learn practical skills such as car maintenance or bank account management along with their academic subjects at school. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

A certain group of people believe that pupils should learn real-life
skills
Use synonyms
 like car maintenance or bank account management with their day-to-day subjects at school. I totally agree with
this
Linking Words
 notion, because, someday or another , students will have to face the real world and learning
such
Linking Words
 jobs will prepare them early. Having
such
Linking Words
skills
Use synonyms
 will always keep them employed. In tough times,
Correct article usage
the real-world
show examples
real-world
Use the right word
real world
show examples
 will always earn you that bread rather than a piece of paper one calls a degree.
Additionally
Linking Words
, young adults can do part-time work to pay for their own tuition
fee
Fix the agreement mistake
fees
show examples
rather than depending on their parents. In the West, teenagers are expected to leave their homes once they are 18 and build their own lives.
Furthermore
Linking Words
, doing odd jobs like working as a mechanic or an accountant
also
Linking Words
 makes you humble.These days , everyone wants to be a business owner or a CEO. But a good leader is the one who understands their followers and has empathy and respect towards them.
Above all
Linking Words
, having
such
Linking Words
skills
Use synonyms
 in the arsenal will save
up
Change preposition
apply
show examples
a lot of money.To exemplify, one doesn't need to pay for someone to mount their TV on the wall or to fix a flat tyre. To summarise, learning
such
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skills
Use synonyms
 in school will make you independent and prepare you for the outside world
,
Punctuation problem
;
show examples
 at the same time,
this
Linking Words
 process will break your ego early.
In addition
Linking Words
, it will make you more financially resilient in tough times.

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task response
Your view is clear, but say more on why you think these skills should be in school and give a fact or two.
structure
Use more real life examples that fit school work and link them to ideas in school.
structure
Plan your essay with two or three body parts and a short ending.
language
Keep sentences short and fix grammar for clear meaning.
stance
You show a clear view that is easy to follow.
content
You use real life ideas to back your point.
structure
You end with a short summary of your view.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • school
  • students
  • learn
  • life
  • skill
  • money
  • bank
  • account
  • save
  • spend
  • budget
  • plan
  • goal
  • debt
  • interest
  • tax
  • math
  • numbers
  • cost
  • safety
  • car
  • maintenance
  • repair
  • engine
  • tools
  • teach
  • practice
  • project
  • lesson
  • class
  • lesson
  • home
  • work
  • future
  • equal
  • access
  • time
  • exam
  • include
  • balance
  • decision
  • choice
  • positive
  • risk
  • safe
  • group
  • team
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