IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6.5

The bar chart below shows the average monthly maximum temperatures for three Australian cities in the year 2016. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

The bar chart below shows the average monthly maximum temperatures for three Australian cities in the year 2016. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
The graph illustrates the highest
temperature
Use synonyms
 of each
month
Use synonyms
 in 2016 for three urban areas in Australia, namely
Melbourne
Use synonyms
, Darwin and
Perth
Use synonyms
.
Overall
Linking Words
, Darwin was consistently the hottest among the three regions,
while
Linking Words
 lower temperatures
wer
Correct your spelling
were
 recorded in
Melbourne
Use synonyms
 and
Perth
Use synonyms
. The maximum
temperature
Use synonyms
 f Darwin in every
month
Use synonyms
 was higher than 30 degrees Celsius.
With a
Change preposition
A
show examples
 small drop of 0.4℃ was recorded in the second
month
Use synonyms
,
it
Correct word choice
and it
show examples
then
Linking Words
rised
Correct your spelling
rose
 by 1.3℃ in April. From April to July,
however
Linking Words
, the
temperature
Use synonyms
 started to drop slowly to the lower point of 30.5℃. Starting from August, a slight increase
of
Change preposition
in
show examples
 the monthly highest
temperature
Use synonyms
 is recorded until December, when a drop of 0.7℃ occurred. Regarding the monthly maximum
temperature
Use synonyms
 of
Melbourne
Use synonyms
 and
Perth
Use synonyms
, the data
of
Change preposition
for
show examples
 both cities is below 30℃. The general trends were similar,
while
Linking Words
Melbourne
Use synonyms
 showed a more drastic change.
Although
Linking Words
 the highest
temperature
Use synonyms
 remained the
sane
Use the right word
same
show examples
 in January and
Februay
Correct your spelling
February
, it significantly dropped by 12.4℃ from March to July. It consistently climbed to 24.1℃ between August and December. For
that
Correct determiner usage
apply
show examples
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
Perth
Use synonyms
, the peak
temperature
Use synonyms
 for each
month
Use synonyms
 showed a declining tendency from January to July. The
temperature
Use synonyms
steadly
Correct your spelling
steadily
 dropped from 28.1℃ to 18.8℃. Starting from August, the
temperature
Use synonyms
rised exponentionally
Correct your spelling
rose exponentially
 to 26.3℃.

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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "while".
▼
Vocabulary: Replace the words temperature, month, melbourne, perth with synonyms.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "showed" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "drop" was used 3 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "rised" was used 2 times.
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