IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 3

The chart shows requests for information at a tourists office in the United Kingdom from January to June

The chart shows requests for information at a tourists office in the United Kingdom from January to June
Inquiries
Use synonyms
 for information of
United
Correct article usage
the United
show examples
 Kingdom
tourists
Check wording
apply
show examples
was
Correct subject-verb agreement
were
show examples
 demonstrated by the chart in 6
month
Correct your spelling
6-month
 period. It is clearly seen that
,
Punctuation problem
apply
show examples
 requests by telephone and in person experienced
skyrocket
Replace the word
a sharp increase
show examples
 in the ultimate period, with the exception of letter requests.
While
Linking Words
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
most people preferred
appeal
Verb problem
to appeal
show examples
 in person,
less
Fix the agreement mistake
fewer
show examples
 people applied
with
Change preposition
by
show examples
 mail. The number of in-person
inquiries
Use synonyms
, which accounted for 500 in
January
Use synonyms
, sharply increased to 1900 in
June
Use synonyms
.
Although
Linking Words
telephone
Correct article usage
the telephone
show examples
 request indicated 900 in
January
Use synonyms
, declined to 800 in February and in April experienced
Correct article usage
a steadly
show examples
steadly
Correct your spelling
steady
 rise to 1600 in
June
Use synonyms
. Regarding mail
inquiries
Use synonyms
, the number remained relatively stable compared with other types, showing only a slight decrease from 700 in
January
Use synonyms
 to 300 in
June
Use synonyms
. In conclusion,
although
Linking Words
 telephone
inquiries
Use synonyms
 were the most common in
January
Use synonyms
, by
June
Use synonyms
 the majority of people preferred to make
inquiries
Use synonyms
 in person.
However
Linking Words
, requirements by letter
was
Correct subject-verb agreement
were
show examples
 less convenient
all
Correct determiner usage
apply
show examples
over the period.

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "although".
▼
Introduction: The introduction is missing.
▼
Introduction: Change the first sentence in the introduction.
▼
Introduction: The chart intro is missing.
▼
Common mistake: Your writing should be 150-250 words.
Basic structure: Change the fifth paragraph.
▼
Introduction: The chart intro is missing.
▼
Vocabulary: Replace the words inquiries, january, june with synonyms.
▼
Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "information" in your introduction.
▼
Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the fifth paragraph.
▼
What to do next:
Look at other essays: