IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4

Nowadays, a lot of people want to receive everything in short amount of time. why is this ? Do you think it is a positive or negative development?

In these
Change preposition
These
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 days,
demand
Correct article usage
the demand
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 for achieving everything which is available on earth is widespread among youth. Especially reaching success effortlessly and immediately.
In
Change preposition
From
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 my
perspective
Add a comma
perspective,
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this
Linking Words
 is a positive growth. In
this
Linking Words
 essay, I will explain my view and give my opinions. In
this
Linking Words
 fast-paced era, instant
outcome
Fix the agreement mistake
outcomes
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became
Wrong verb form
have become
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 widely
in
Verb problem
accepted in
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 the world. The particular reason for
this
Linking Words
 circumstance is a fake life
in
Change preposition
on
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 social
medias
Fix the agreement mistake
media
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such
Linking Words
 as Instagram and
Tiktok
Use the right word
TikTok
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. On those e-commerce platforms, influencers show off their unknown lifestyle. That would make
people
Use synonyms
 feel poor by comparing their reputation to others.
As a result
Linking Words
, a number of ungrateful individuals are not
satisfying
Replace the word
satisfied
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from
Change preposition
with
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 their current regime. By not having a life as they dreamed, they become unmotivated
and
Punctuation problem
, and
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 they somehow consider there is no point in living in their current condition
and
Punctuation problem
, and
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 some of those consequences ended up with huge fatality.
Mostly
Use the right word
Most
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people
Use synonyms
be
Wrong verb form
are
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 jealous, since
people
Use synonyms
 who are
in
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apply
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the same age as them have already achieved success.
According to
Linking Words
 the BBC news, 60% of
people
Use synonyms
 who are around 30-35 are jealous
on
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of
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 teenage influencers who
have already
Correct word order
already have
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has
Verb problem
apply
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their own properties or even some of them
runs
Correct subject-verb agreement
run
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 their own business. Sometimes they believe the stem for
this
Linking Words
 fame is living in
cutting-edge
Correct article usage
a cutting-edge
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 era which filled
by
Change preposition
with
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 different opportunities. In the past, there
were
Correct subject-verb agreement
was
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 no
any
Fix the agreement mistake
apply
show examples
social media, even if elite habitats never showed off their wealth. In conclusion, showing off plays a crucial role
on
Change preposition
in
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self-esteem
Correct article usage
the self-esteem
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 of
people
Use synonyms
. If bloggers stop
to represent
Verb problem
representing
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 their happy
life
Fix the agreement mistake
lives
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 to the public,
a
Correct article usage
the
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 number of
misfortune
Fix the agreement mistake
misfortunes
show examples
 decreases significantly

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planning
Plan before you write. Start with a clear view. Then write three parts: intro, body, and finish with a short end.
structure
Make each paragraph start with a clear idea sentence. Keep one main idea in each paragraph.
grammar
Use simple and exact words. Check verb form and tense. Link ideas with simple words like and, but, also.
content
Give one or two real examples if you can. Do not only give big ideas.
conclusion
End with a strong conclusion that restates your view.
task
You state a view and stay on the topic.
content
Some good ideas about why people want fast results.
analysis
You tie the idea to social media life.
Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

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