Nowadays, a lot of people want to receive everything in short amount of time. Why is this? Do you think it is a positive or negative development?

In these
Change preposition
These
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days ,
majority
Correct article usage
the majority
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of people’s preference is to possess a large amount of wisdom without ever bailing themselves . I strongly believe that it is
negative
Correct article usage
a negative
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development , as the value of
hard-work
Use the right word
hard work
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in the purpose of getting knowledge would vanish in
this
Linking Words
case , it stemmed from the influence of social media because displaying achievements is a trend .
To begin
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with , as it was mentioned , the core
to
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of
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the chasing knowledge in
this
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way is the progress in technology . Because it is popular to apply accomplishments there in
the way
Check wording
order
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to get praise from viewers , and
this
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leads to the self-comparison made by other people with the ups in the life of
appliers
Replace the word
applicants
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.
Linking Words
This
Fix the agreement mistake
These
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competitions cannot be called
as
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apply
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a healthy competition because it is not admiration
to
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for
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each other but jealousy . To continue with , I consider it as a negative
moving
Check wording
influence
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, it has several influences that
impacts
Correct subject-verb agreement
impact
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people negatively
to
Change preposition
on
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a
Correct pronoun usage
their
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mental condition , character and even physical health . It causes conditions
such
Linking Words
as stress and depression when the goal is not reached , creates jealousy and too much
complain
Wrong verb form
complaining
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,
it
Correct word choice
and it
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can
also
Linking Words
lead to self-harming after the result because of
vulnerability
Correct article usage
the vulnerability
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of mental power. In conclusion, social media plays a crucial role in the
reason
Check wording
pursuit
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for
Change preposition
of
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wanting
Verb problem
apply
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that
Correct determiner usage
apply
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impossible achievements in
short
Correct article usage
a short
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time . The view is really dangerous
it
Punctuation problem
, it
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involves even self-harming.

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structure
Plan your answer: write a clear intro that states your view, then 2-3 reasons, and end with a short conclusion.
vocabulary
Use simple words and short sentences to help readers.
grammar
Check grammar: fix subject-verb form, tense, and wrong word choices.
content
Add more clear and real examples to show your point.
content
There is a clear view that fast gain of wisdom is not good.
ideas
The essay shows how social media can push quick success.
structure
It ends with a conclusion.
Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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