Some people believe that governments should have access to people’s mobile phone call records and messages for safety reasons. Others believe that this information is private and should not be available without permission. Discuss both these views and give your opinion. Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

While

Linking Words

some people

belive

Use the right word

believe

show examples

that

government's

Correct article usage

the government's

show examples

controll

Correct your spelling

control

over mobile

corespondence

Correct your spelling

correspondence

and call records of their citizens

increase

Correct subject-verb agreement

increases

show examples

safety, others disagree

Punctuation problem

, assesing

show examples

assesing

Correct your spelling

arguing

that

such

Linking Words

data should remain private. In my

opinion

Add a comma

opinion,

show examples

both statements are

resonable

Correct your spelling

reasonable

therfore

Correct word choice

apply

show examples

access

Use synonyms

to private

such

Linking Words

information should be heavily restricted, and only under strict circumstances

Punctuation problem

apply

show examples

should the government be allowed to

access

Use synonyms

them

Correct pronoun usage

show examples

. Allowing governments to view

content

Correct article usage

the content

show examples

of private messages

as well as

Linking Words

calls

Correct article usage

the calls

show examples

of the suspects could have many advantages

resulting

Punctuation problem

, resulting

show examples

in safer societies.

Firstly

Linking Words

, evidence collected by

this

Linking Words

means could be later used in court to enrich

prosecutor's

Correct article usage

the prosecutor's

show examples

ammunition, leading to more

fair

Correct word choice

fairer

show examples

sentence.

Secondly

Linking Words

, it might help the police to detect crimes early and improve prevention.

For

Linking Words

example

Add a comma

example,

show examples

we heard a lot about

organized

Change the spelling

organised

show examples

criminal groups communicating via modern

comunicators

Correct your spelling

communicators

, if

autorities

Correct your spelling

authorities

have

access

Use synonyms

Linking Words

this

Fix the agreement mistake

these

show examples

conversations, they might spot and catch criminals much earlier.

Unfortnately

Correct your spelling

Unfortunately

, there are

also

Linking Words

numerous downsides of private communication monitoring. First of all, allowance of viewing private

electornical corespondence

Correct your spelling

electronic correspondence

will

infract

Verb problem

infringe on

show examples

people's right to privacy.

Linking Words

Furthermore

Punctuation problem

Furthermore,

show examples

not only will it violate our civil rights

but

Punctuation problem

, but

show examples

also

Linking Words

it could be used by countries'

liderships

Correct your spelling

leaders

as a means for political

repressions

Fix the agreement mistake

repression

show examples

, which might even lead to

authoritarity

Correct your spelling

authoritarianism

Thus

Linking Words

, all rules about any form of invigilation should be only used if necessary,

Linking Words

addition

Punctuation problem

addition,

show examples

all rules about

this

Linking Words

from

Use the right word

form

show examples

controll

Correct your spelling

control

should be clearly stated in

country's

Correct article usage

the country's

show examples

laws. In conclusion, giving governments

access

Use synonyms

to search

throught

Correct your spelling

through

our personal messages

as well as

Linking Words

phone calls may increase

overall

Linking Words

safety.

However

Linking Words

, it may

also

Linking Words

be the driver of

further

Linking Words

repressions and strict

controll

Correct your spelling

control

over the country's citizens.

Thats

Use the right word

That's

show examples

why

Fix capitalization

show examples

belive

Use the right word

believe

show examples

that we should allow for

such

Linking Words

method

Correct article usage

a method

show examples

of invigilation, but doing

Punctuation problem

so,

show examples

we should state clear and strict

bounderies

Correct your spelling

boundaries

in which it could be applied.

kremobil

Oct 16, 2025

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coherence

Plan what you want to say first. Put one idea in each paragraph and use small link words like and, but, also, so to join ideas.

grammar

Fix spelling and grammar. Use simple, common words and check common errors.

task response

Give stronger and clear examples. Say what the example shows and how it backs your point.

content

You raise the topic and give your own view.

structure

There is basic shape with an intro and a conclusion.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

for example
for instance
to illustrate this
to give a clear example
such as
namely
to illustrate
take, for example

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14
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
42
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 4.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

295 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

access
privacy
communication data
public safety
terrorist activities
serious crimes
monitoring
tracked
unauthorized access
fundamental human right
abuse of power
infringement
trust in governmental institutions
surveillance capabilities
government power
overreach
strict regulations
accountability measures
individual rights
potential misuse
swift interventions

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