Some people believe that governments should have access to people’s mobile phone call records and messages for safety reasons. Others believe that this information is private and should not be available without permission. Discuss both these views and give your opinion. Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

While
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some people
belive
Use the right word
believe
show examples
that
government's
Correct article usage
the government's
show examples
controll
Correct your spelling
control
over mobile
corespondence
Correct your spelling
correspondence
and call records of their citizens
increase
Correct subject-verb agreement
increases
show examples
safety, others disagree
Punctuation problem
, assesing
show examples
assesing
Correct your spelling
arguing
that
such
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data should remain private. In my
opinion
Add a comma
opinion,
show examples
both statements are
resonable
Correct your spelling
reasonable
,
therfore
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
access
Use synonyms
to private
such
Linking Words
information should be heavily restricted, and only under strict circumstances
,
Punctuation problem
apply
show examples
should the government be allowed to
access
Use synonyms
them
Correct pronoun usage
it
show examples
. Allowing governments to view
content
Correct article usage
the content
show examples
of private messages
as well as
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calls
Correct article usage
the calls
show examples
of the suspects could have many advantages
resulting
Punctuation problem
, resulting
show examples
in safer societies.
Firstly
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, evidence collected by
this
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means could be later used in court to enrich
prosecutor's
Correct article usage
the prosecutor's
show examples
ammunition, leading to more
fair
Correct word choice
fairer
show examples
sentence.
Secondly
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, it might help the police to detect crimes early and improve prevention.
For
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example
Add a comma
example,
show examples
we heard a lot about
organized
Change the spelling
organised
show examples
criminal groups communicating via modern
comunicators
Correct your spelling
communicators
, if
autorities
Correct your spelling
authorities
have
access
Use synonyms
to
Linking Words
this
Fix the agreement mistake
these
show examples
conversations, they might spot and catch criminals much earlier.
Unfortnately
Correct your spelling
Unfortunately
, there are
also
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numerous downsides of private communication monitoring. First of all, allowance of viewing private
electornical corespondence
Correct your spelling
electronic correspondence
will
infract
Verb problem
infringe on
show examples
people's right to privacy.
Linking Words
Furthermore
Punctuation problem
Furthermore,
show examples
not only will it violate our civil rights
but
Punctuation problem
, but
show examples
also
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it could be used by countries'
liderships
Correct your spelling
leaders
as a means for political
repressions
Fix the agreement mistake
repression
show examples
, which might even lead to
authoritarity
Correct your spelling
authoritarianism
.
Thus
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, all rules about any form of invigilation should be only used if necessary,
in
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addition
Punctuation problem
addition,
show examples
all rules about
this
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from
Use the right word
form
show examples
of
controll
Correct your spelling
control
should be clearly stated in
country's
Correct article usage
the country's
show examples
laws. In conclusion, giving governments
access
Use synonyms
to search
throught
Correct your spelling
through
our personal messages
as well as
Linking Words
phone calls may increase
overall
Linking Words
safety.
However
Linking Words
, it may
also
Linking Words
be the driver of
further
Linking Words
repressions and strict
controll
Correct your spelling
control
over the country's citizens.
Thats
Use the right word
That's
show examples
why
i
Fix capitalization
I
show examples
belive
Use the right word
believe
show examples
that we should allow for
such
Linking Words
method
Correct article usage
a method
show examples
of invigilation, but doing
so
Punctuation problem
so,
show examples
we should state clear and strict
bounderies
Correct your spelling
boundaries
in which it could be applied.

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coherence
Plan what you want to say first. Put one idea in each paragraph and use small link words like and, but, also, so to join ideas.
grammar
Fix spelling and grammar. Use simple, common words and check common errors.
task response
Give stronger and clear examples. Say what the example shows and how it backs your point.
content
You raise the topic and give your own view.
structure
There is basic shape with an intro and a conclusion.
Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example
Topic Vocabulary:
  • access
  • privacy
  • communication data
  • public safety
  • terrorist activities
  • serious crimes
  • monitoring
  • tracked
  • unauthorized access
  • fundamental human right
  • abuse of power
  • infringement
  • trust in governmental institutions
  • surveillance capabilities
  • government power
  • overreach
  • strict regulations
  • accountability measures
  • individual rights
  • potential misuse
  • swift interventions
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