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Writing Samples
Band 5.5

The pie charts below show the most common advantages and disadvantages of Bowen Island, according to a survey of visitors. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

The pie charts below show the most common advantages and disadvantages of Bowen Island, according to a survey of visitors. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
The pie chart demonstrates the merits and demerits of Bowen
Island
Use synonyms
, and the information was gathered via a survey from tourists.
Overall
Linking Words
, it is evident that the most common advantage of the place is the hospitable people, but the disadvantage is the high cost of living. Travellers report that the vibrant scenery and the welcoming people of the
island
Use synonyms
 are its biggest edge. 35% and 42% of the people had positive endorsements on the aforementioned categories.
Furthermore
Linking Words
, 11% reported that the accommodation is excellent and is an advantage to the place.
However
Linking Words
, expensive travel and the high cost of living are one of the biggest drawbacks of Bowen
Island
Use synonyms
. 50% of the tourists share the same sentiments.
Additionally
Linking Words
, the lack of entertainment
also
Linking Words
 seems to be an issue. The survey states, a quarter of the travellers, unfortunately, find the
island
Use synonyms
 to be lacking when it comes to entertaining activities.
Finally
Linking Words
, 10% and 15% find the food quality and the weather to be not up to the mark. To summarise, the natives of the
island
Use synonyms
,
along with
Linking Words
 the beautiful nature, are the biggest reasons for the tourism here.
Conversely
Linking Words
, the costly living and the lacklustre entertainment are the biggest disadvantages of
this
Linking Words
 place.

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Introduction: The introduction is missing.
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Introduction: Change the first sentence in the introduction.
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Introduction: The chart intro is missing.
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Basic structure: Change the second paragraph.
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Basic structure: Change the third paragraph.
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Introduction: The chart intro is missing.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words island with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "information" in your introduction.
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Vocabulary: Only 3 basic words for charts were used.
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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the second paragraph.
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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the third paragraph.
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Topic Vocabulary:
  • According to the survey
  • Visitors reported
  • The pie charts show
  • The most common advantages/disadvantages
  • A significant proportion
  • A small percentage
  • In contrast
  • Notably
  • The largest segment
  • Similarly
  • On the other hand
  • A major advantage/disadvantage
  • To highlight
  • Overall effect
  • Impact the experience
  • In summary
  • Illustrates
  • Reflects
  • Highlights
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