IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

Some people think that teachers should be required to work in the country where they received their training, while others believe they should be free to work abroad if they choose.

There is a common perception that
teachers
Use synonyms
 should be required to
work
Use synonyms
 in the
country
Use synonyms
 in which they received their education.
Conversely
Linking Words
, some argue that
teacher
Fix the agreement mistake
teachers
show examples
 are free to
work
Use synonyms
 abroad if they wish.
This
Linking Words
 essay will discuss
both
Use synonyms
 views before giving my own opinion. On the one hand, requiring educators to stay and
work
Use synonyms
 in their trained
country
Use synonyms
 can benefit that nation greatly. After all, government and universities invest a significant amount of resources
on
Change preposition
in
show examples
 their training. If graduates get a job locally, they will help improve the
eduction
Use the right word
education
show examples
 system, which supports the national development.
For example
Linking Words
, teacher trained in public universities
Use synonyms
work
Correct pronoun usage
who work
show examples
 in rural areas can provide their
much needed
Use the right word
much-needed
show examples
 expertise there, where qualified staff is
scars
Use the right word
scarce
show examples
.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, some would argue that
teachers
Use synonyms
 and educators have the right to decide if they wish to stay to
work
Use synonyms
 in their home
country
Use synonyms
 or apply for a job
aboard
Rephrase
abroad
show examples
, somewhere where they can gain new experiences and advance their skills. Allowing that encourages culture change and personal choice.
For instance
Linking Words
, a talented Indian guy who did his training in Canada could
work
Use synonyms
 in
both
Use synonyms
Use synonyms
country
Fix the agreement mistake
countries
show examples
 if there was an international collaboration, which would benefit
both
Use synonyms
Use synonyms
country
Fix the agreement mistake
countries
show examples
. In my opinion,
while
Linking Words
 it is understandable that countries want to keep
there
Use the right word
their
show examples
 trained
teachers
Use synonyms
, forcing them to stay would not be fair, as it limits their personal choice and motivation. after all, these workers are seeking better salaries and
work
Use synonyms
condition
Fix the agreement mistake
conditions
show examples
 and to advance their skills.
Instead
Linking Words
, countries should offer and provide advantages for their trained individuals to keep them
home
Change preposition
at home
show examples
. In
conclusions
Fix the agreement mistake
conclusion
show examples
,
both
Use synonyms
 views have merit
, if
Punctuation problem
. If
show examples
 schools must keep talented
teachers
Use synonyms
, they ought to offer appealing
work
Use synonyms
 conditions so that
it
Correct pronoun usage
they
show examples
attracts
Correct subject-verb agreement
attract
show examples
 graduates and have them want to stay voluntarily.

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

planning
Plan before you write. Make a small map of the main ideas for each paragraph.
structure
Make a clear topic sentence for each paragraph to show the main idea.
cohesion
Use linking words to show how ideas are linked and to move from one point to the next.
grammar
Check the spell and word use. Fix wrong spell and wrong word.
examples
Give good and clear example for each point. Explain how it shows your idea.
content
The essay shows both sides and gives a clear view.
content
It uses some real examples to back ideas.
structure
The plan of idea is easy to follow.
Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: