Some people think that competition at work, at school and in daily life is a good thing. Others believe that we should try to cooperate more, rather than competing against each other. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

Some
people
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believe that competition at work, school or in our daily life is a positive thing. Others,
however
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, consider that to
have
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has
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an
overall
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negative impact on some individuals, and it is best if
people
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start cooperating more with each other. I personally agree with the latter view, as I think that humans achieve best under supportive conditions. On the one hand, those who oppose collaboration argue that being in
competitive
Correct article usage
a competitive
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environment drives
people
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to give their very best, be independent and encourages some to figure things out on their own, which is a great learning opportunity. They
also
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,
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apply
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claim that it will lead
success
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to success
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.
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for
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For
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example, a teacher may create a challenge
to
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for
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their students, and whoever
get
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gets
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the highest score on a particular assignment will be rewarded publicly.
On the other hand
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, all that competition in many aspects of our lives could create pressure and stress, which will only do us harm.
Conversely
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, collaborating creates a more
neutrious
Correct your spelling
neutral
environment that students and workers thrive in.
People
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storm ideas, share knowledge and get better at something together
while
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simultaneously learning from their peers.
For instance
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, a group of employees with various ideas
coming
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comes
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up
together with
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a
plane
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plan
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to execute a new project.
Nonetheless
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, there is always the possibility that some individuals rely
one
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on
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others. In conclusion,
while
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having competition between peers can sometimes be productive, I am convinced it is in our human nature to connect and help one another. A well-balanced
alternations
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alternation
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between the two will be beneficial for all.

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language
Fix big grammar and sentence use. For example, use 'whoever gets' and 'neutral' instead of 'neutrious'. Check spelling and use simple, straight sentences.
coherence
Make ideas clearer. State your view at once in the intro and put one main idea in each paragraph with a clear start sentence.
cohesion
Link ideas well. Use easy link words and keep tense the same. Make the order of points easy to follow.
content
Give better and simpler examples that directly show your point. Do not use long or odd phrases.
content
You state your view and you talk about both sides.
structure
You use
Topic Vocabulary:
  • innovation
  • productivity
  • excel
  • outperform
  • advancements
  • academic standards
  • work ethic
  • stress
  • anxiety
  • unhealthy rivalries
  • harmonious
  • supportive
  • collaborative learning
  • social skills
  • communication skills
  • sense of community
  • collective goals
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