IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5.5

Should the government or teachers be responsible for what is to be taught in schools? Give a reason for your answer and include relevant examples from your knowledge or experience.

What is going to happen in the future is mostly decided by the
government
Use synonyms
 ,
such
Linking Words
 as development or new innovations.
That is
Linking Words
 why it is the
government
Use synonyms
 and teachers' responsibility to provide relevant study and future plans by collaborating with each other. Technology is increasing day by day, but the
government
Use synonyms
 knows very well what the large companies are doing because these companies first show their interest
to get
Change preposition
in getting
show examples
 a license from the nation's authorisation department before making any massive development.
For example
Linking Words
, 4G was really a big change in telecommunication before
this
Linking Words
 innovation. 2G or
3G
Use the right word
3 G
show examples
 was taught in schools or universities, as the
Government
Use synonyms
 got to know about 4G after receiving approval applications. They immediately arranged meetings with education providers to update study material. Lovely Professional University
also
Linking Words
 did it , and I have fortunately had an upgraded study. The Australian
government
Use synonyms
 is now facing a housing shortage issue. They have talked with many institutes to give trade courses with low fees so that a number of tradies can be ready to tackle the
house
Check wording
housing
show examples
 shortage issue.
For instance
Linking Words
, TAFE is one of the colleges which is offering free trade courses and takes responsibility to make an army that will build thousands of houses every year. The Labour
government
Use synonyms
 is funding these institutes for their contribution. In conclusion, the
government
Use synonyms
 should evaluate first needs
according to
Linking Words
 their future plans and must take the responsibility to provide the same level of education by discussing with
teachers
Punctuation problem
teachers,
show examples
 because in the end, teachers will teach what is decided.

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task-response
State your view clearly in the first line so the reader knows your position.
coherence
Give 2 or 3 main ideas and put each in its own paragraph with a clear topic sentence.
coherence
Use only simple links like First, Also, For example, Then, In conclusion to connect ideas.
task-response
Choose examples that fit the point you make and explain how they show your view.
language-use
Check grammar and spelling, especially capitalization and punctuation, to make your writing easy to read.
content
The essay tries to show that both government and teachers should guide what is learned.
structure
It uses real world examples to back up the idea.
cohesion
There is a closing line that repeats the main idea.
Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

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