Some people say historical buildings should be preserved, while others argue that new buildings are more useful for the future. Discuss both sides and give your own opinon

In my point of
view
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view,
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history
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is essential for us.It is prominent
in
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apply
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all over the world.Some people think that
history
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is really complicated and challenging,
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that
Correct pronoun usage
which
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is why they
dont
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don't
try to learn it
and
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, and
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this
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results
unawareness
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in unawareness
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of
your
Correct pronoun usage
their
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nation’s past.If people
int
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in
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the future will be unaware of their past,they will totally forget about our old tradition
and
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, and
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they can have mixed feelings.In my point of
view
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view,
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you should
now
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know
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at least basic things about your country’s past.Surely,it will be useful in the future for us.
For example
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,maybe there will be a tourist
that
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who
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wants to know something about your nation’s past
or
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, or
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maybe you have a foreign friend
and
Correct word choice
who
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asks about your country’s past.If you have information about basic
history
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knowledge,you can easily provide them with information.But,if you
dont
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don't
have any information,they might think that your nation’s past is none of your business.That will cause them
think
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to think
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that your worldview is not that high.
Furthermore
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,if you know something about your past,you will be inspired by your leaders and behave like them.
Additionally
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,by learning your past,you can actually keep your traditions alive and forward them to
next
Correct article usage
the next
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generation.In conclusion,I think learning about your
history
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is really essential to keep your traditions alive.

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task-response
The essay does not fully answer the task. It talks more about why history is useful than about keeping old buildings or making new ones.
task-response
State a clear view on the topic and give both sides, then finish with your own view.
coherence
Use a simple plan and split the writing into clear parts: intro, one or two body paragraphs, and a short conclusion.
coherence
Link ideas with easy words and make the flow from one idea to the next clear.
grammar
Check grammar: use 'is/are', 'do/does', articles (a/an/the) and correct spelling.
grammar
Use correct punctuation and full stops to end sentences.
lexical
Use simple, common words and avoid long phrases.
content
Some idea is on topic and shows care for history.
structure
The essay uses examples to show what the writer thinks.
Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately

Linking words are very important in your essay.

To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.

Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.

In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.

Linking word examples:

  • firstly
  • secondly
  • thirdly
  • in additional
  • moreover
  • also
  • for example
  • for instance
  • therefore
  • however
  • although
  • even though
  • despite
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