IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4

4)Children can learn effectively by watching television . Therefore they should be encouraged to watch television regularly at home and at school. To what extend do you agree or disagree ?

In recent times , watching informative content on
television
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 can be
effective
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an effective
show examples
 means of learning
by
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for
show examples
 adolescents.
Due to
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this
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 , some proponents
thinks
Correct subject-verb agreement
think
show examples
 that
offsprings
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offspring
show examples
 should be motivated to watch
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T.
Correct your spelling
TV
V
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. on
daily
Correct article usage
a daily
show examples
 basis. In my opinion , I largely agree with the standpoint
and
Punctuation problem
, and
show examples
 my viewpoint will
be
Verb problem
apply
show examples
shed light on the ensuing paragraph. The foremost point to support my view is that the digital feature displayed by
television
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 can make learning both engaging
as well as
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 entertaining. The
Use synonyms
T.
Correct your spelling
TV
V
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. shows
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such
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, such
show examples
 as science
experiment
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experiments
show examples
which
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, which
show examples
 are particularly
focuses
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focused
show examples
 on elementary students,
demonstrating
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demonstrate
show examples
the
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apply
show examples
real life
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real-life
show examples
illustration
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illustrations
show examples
on
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of
show examples
 the working
mechanism
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mechanisms
show examples
 of physics and chemistry .
For example
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 , Science
life
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Life
show examples
 by HBO , which shows
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
different
experiment
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experiments
show examples
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such
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, such
show examples
 as
flowing
Wrong verb form
the flow
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 of electricity through
wire
Correct article usage
a wire
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 to
bulb
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a bulb
show examples
 or
the
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apply
show examples
chemical
experiment
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experiments
show examples
, mixing hydrogen gas and oxygen gas
inorder
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in order
show examples
 to form
the
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apply
show examples
water molecules.
As a result
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 ,
children
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 automatically
develops
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develop
show examples
interest
Correct article usage
an interest
show examples
 in the subjects and
also
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helps
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help
show examples
 them to comprehend the concepts in an easy manner rather than
doing
Verb problem
apply
show examples
just
bookrote
Correct your spelling
by rote
.
Furthermore
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 , it can
also
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 boost
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
language proficiency .
Children
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 can learn different
language
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languages
show examples
 from various
Use synonyms
T.
Correct your spelling
TV
V
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. shows , which can assist them to expand the range of vocabulary and eventually it would be an
assest
Correct your spelling
asset
 in their communication skills. To
Illustrate
Fix capitalization
illustrate
show examples
,
Webseries
Correct your spelling
a web series
 called Friends is
consider
Wrong verb form
considered
show examples
 to be the best
English speaking
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English-speaking
show examples
 show all over the world and
as
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has
show examples
 benefited millions of people in improving their fluency and articulation in
Correct article usage
the english
show examples
english
Fix capitalization
English
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langauge
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language
.
Moreover
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, it has been viewed
more
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by more
show examples
 than one million people on
youtube
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YouTube
show examples
which
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, which
show examples
 shows the potential of
T
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.
V
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. show
on
Change preposition
for
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 learning.
On the other hand
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 ,
Some
Fix capitalization
some
show examples
 people argue that watching
television
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 on
daily
Correct article usage
a daily
show examples
 basis can be
deterent
Correct your spelling
detrimental
 to their academic
.
Check wording
performance.
show examples
 If kids are left unsupervised by their parents ,
children
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 could spend lots of time on
television
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which
Punctuation problem
, which
show examples
 would adversely
effect
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affect
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 their
study
Fix the agreement mistake
studies
show examples
.
However
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 ,
this
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 can be
mitigate
Wrong verb form
mitigated
show examples
 by inculcating proper time scheduling and setting out the boundaries on time duration
on
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for
show examples
 watching
television
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. So that the exposure of TV can be
in control
Wrong verb form
controlled
show examples
. To
conlcude
Correct your spelling
conclude
, unabated exposure
of
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to
show examples
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T.
Correct your spelling
TV
V
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. can directly impact on study.
However
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 ,
with
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apply
show examples
imparting proper supervision on their
children
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 by parents can be
effective
Correct article usage
an effective
show examples
mean
Fix the agreement mistake
means
show examples
 to
utilize
Change the spelling
utilise
show examples
 the
television
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 for
education
Replace the word
educational
show examples
purpose
Fix the agreement mistake
purposes
show examples
 to the
fulliest
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fullest
.

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grammar
Fix the basic grammar and spell the word right so the idea is easy to read.
structure
Use short clear lines. Make one idea in one line.
content
Give clear proof for each idea with real or simple examples.
planning
Make a clear start and end. State your view in the start and restate it in the end.
content
The writer shows a view that TV can help learning and uses examples.
organization
There is a plan with an intro, body, and conclusion.
Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • passive
  • sedentary
  • limit
  • creativity
  • imagination
  • educational content
  • expose
  • different cultures
  • perspectives
  • negative effects
  • behavior
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