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Writing Samples
Band 5

Many people feel that students should learn from online materials, while others feel that it is better to use printed materials. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

There are different points of view about the dossier that student should use for their syllabus. Some people advocate the use of online statistics by learners as they are more informative, up-to-date, and eco-friendly.
While
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 critics claim that printed knowledge is easier to read and is more focused. The essay will discuss both views before presenting a personal opinion. Online materials are used by most
of
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apply
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the
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apply
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students
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 in contemporary times. As
students
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 can easily find data from websites available on the internet, they can save time
instead
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 of going through
books
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. The saved time can be used to study another subject, and ultimately, they will gain more knowledge.
Moreover
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, information available on the internet is up-to-date than the old data in
books
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.
In addition
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, studying from online sources will lower the consumption of paper in the world, which will result in less deforestation,
thus
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 making it environmentally friendly.
On the other hand
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, Critics argue that online studies distract teen
students
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 and are difficult to understand.
To begin
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with
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with,
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 it is being observed in the research by scientists that children find it difficult to understand text from a computer screen because of the bright lights used in the monitors. In comparison to
this
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,
books
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 are easy to understand, and children are found to be more focused
while
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 studying from physical paper.
Secondly
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,
students
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 get distracted by other internet platforms
while
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 studying online, as they are using the same technology and device for both education and social media.
For example
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, many teens would use platforms like Facebook and Instagram
while
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 they pretend to study in front of their parents.
To conclude
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,
although
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 online studies help teens to stay informed
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and
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are environmentally friendly, they
also
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 distract
students
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 from their main focus of subjects, which
books
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fulfill
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fulfil
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 really well. In my personal opinion, online sources can be used for gathering information and looking for extra material, but the primary material for studies should be
books
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as
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, as
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 they improve focus and level of patience in human beings.

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coherence and cohesion
Plan your essay with a clear form: first an intro, then two parts for each view, and a short end with your own view. Use links to show how ideas are tied.
task response
Add more detail to each point. Give a simple fact or example to back the point.
grammar and accuracy
Fix small grammar errors. Use short and clear sentences.
task response
You speak about both sides and give your own view.
coherence and cohesion
There is a plan with an intro, body, and end.
Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • accessibility
  • convenience
  • retention
  • comprehension
  • distractions
  • interactive
  • multimedia
  • engagement
  • digital eye strain
  • current knowledge
  • outdated materials
  • learning styles
  • benefits
  • challenges
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