Is it important for young people to save up for their future?

Some say that young
people
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should
also
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consider saving up for their future. I strongly agree with
this
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statement, since the sooner youngsters start to lay
money
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aside, the higher their financial security is going to be later.
Firstly
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, the economy is in a continuous state of rises and falls.
Thus
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, living completely dependent on one form of income is not reliable. Anything could happen.
For example
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, if health deteriorates and it's impossible to work for a few days, having capital to spare can provide a huge sense of
relif
Correct your spelling
relief
.
Whereas
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, if the opposite occurs, not being prepared for a sudden change can make the situation more difficult than it is. Even though most media encourages everyone, especially the youth, to live in the moment and not worry about tomorrow, having
money
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offers safety , which is necessary for
people
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's well-being.
Furthermore
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, despite what everyone might say,
money
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is necessary to be able to live a good life.
Therefore
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, it's important to be responsible about it. If
people
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only begin to worry about
money
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in their twenties, they will make a lot of mistakes in the beginning.
However
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, if that preoccupation starts before, by that age, they will already know how to deal with finances,
hence
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being more responsible
,
Punctuation problem
apply
show examples
and dependable. In conclusion, caring about saving for the future is very important since it protects
people
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's emotional well-being, as it allows them to be ready for emergencies, and it transforms them into more down-to-earth individuals.

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task response
Work on a clear plan. Begin with a short intro that states your view. Then use each paragraph to give one main idea with a clear example.
task response
Give more exact ideas. Use real points like how saving can help in health issues or a job loss.
coherence
Link ideas well. Use words like also, then, but to show how ideas fit.
grammar
Fix small mistakes: spell relief and tidy spaces near commas.
grammar
Keep sentences short and use common words.
strength
Clear stance and view on saving.
structure
Good shape with intro, body, and conclusion.
coherence
Use of linking words helps flow.
Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example
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