IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

Some people think the increasing use of computers and mobile phones has a negative effect on young people’s reading and writing skills. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

There is a view that young
people
Use synonyms
's reading and writing skills are becoming worse because of
compute
Replace the word
computer
show examples
 and
phones
Fix the agreement mistake
phone
show examples
 usage.
While
Linking Words
 some
people
Use synonyms
 agree with
this
Linking Words
 idea, I totally disagree, since it helps to increase their imagination and make quick decisions in daily life. Nowadays, everything around us is turning to technology. From small machines
including
Punctuation problem
, including
show examples
 mobile gadgets and the largest robots, all are sensor-enabled. These technologies make our
life
Fix the agreement mistake
lives
show examples
 more comfortable and simpler. It is much easier to communicate and share information with
the
Correct pronoun usage
their
show examples
 help
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
them
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
. That’s why many
people
Use synonyms
use
Wrong verb form
have been using
show examples
 these devices too much in recent years.
Although
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,
Punctuation problem
apply
show examples
 sometimes chatting online is not the same as real talking face to face…
Also
Linking Words
, reading too long from screens can damage their eyes and concentration.
For
Linking Words
this
Linking Words
 reason, some
people
Use synonyms
 say digital schools are not effective for students. Even though there are some negative effects, still, using computers
has
Rephrase
still has
show examples
 more benefits than reading from paper books.
For example
Linking Words
, if someone needs to search
something
Change preposition
for something
show examples
, they can find it more quickly and
easier
Replace the word
easily
show examples
from
Change preposition
on
show examples
 the internet.
Besides
Linking Words
, it helps to improve typing speed and reading skills.
Also
Linking Words
, it teaches us how to do many things at the same time, like writing, drawing or solving problems.
For instance
Linking Words
, students can finish their homework faster using computers. It
also
Linking Words
 helps to develop language and communication, because we can chat with foreigners
in
Change preposition
on
show examples
 different messengers.
Therefore
Linking Words
, we can make new friends and practice our skills. In conclusion,
although
Linking Words
 many
people
Use synonyms
 think that phones and computers damage our reading and writing, I believe they give us more
opportunity
Fix the agreement mistake
opportunities
show examples
 and help us to become faster and smarter.

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task response
Make your view clear in the intro and keep it in the rest of the essay.
coherence
Use topic sentences to start each paragraph and add simple linking words.
development
Give more clear examples and end with a short summary.
grammar style
Use short, clear sentences to avoid mistakes.
position
Clear view on the topic.
content
Some examples are used well.
structure
Intro and conclusion exist.
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