Some people believe that since the children now have access to the Internet, they no longer need to attend school and can learn at home using the Internet. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement.

Because the internet has transformed education in recent years, some argue that attending
school
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is no longer necessary for children, since they
could
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can
show examples
conveniently attend online classes from home using the internet. I totally disagree with
this
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assertion, as I believe that children must
aquire
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acquire
a
comprehnsive
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comprehensive
set of skills provided in a
school
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enviroment
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environment
,
as well as
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the hands-on activity and the field trips.
Firstly
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, traditional schools play a fundamental role in a
child
Check wording
child's
show examples
growth and development. Social and communication skills,
for example
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, are
aquired
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acquired
through face-to-face daily interaction between classmates, or a
student
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and a teacher. If
that is
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gone because the
student
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did
school
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in front of a screen, they might struggle when he or she
grows
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grow
show examples
up and
is
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are
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in the real world, trying to obtain a job and
what not
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whatnot
show examples
.
Therefore
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,
this
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is one of many
consequeses
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consequences
to the convenience of online
learening
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learning
.
Secondly
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, another important reason why attending
school
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is better
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then
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than
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doing it online is the
filed
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field
show examples
trip, the science experiment, and the social event
organized
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organised
show examples
by the
school
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. The unique
experieces
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experiences
obtained from
such
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assignments add up to the
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student
Check wording
student's
show examples
knowledage
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knowledge
, and
later
Verb problem
are later
show examples
applied in various
aspect
Fix the agreement mistake
aspects
show examples
of life.
For instance
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, an exciting field trip to The Grand Canyon gives a child
an
Correct article usage
a
show examples
memorable, educational experience. 
To conclude
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, unlike learning online via the internet, attending
school
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five days a week provides essential learning and social
opporutunities
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opportunities
for the
childe
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child's
show examples
growth and development.
In addition
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, the valuable practices enrich the
student
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with the knowledge needed.

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planning
Make your main ideas clearer in the first part of each paragraph and add a short fact or example.
grammar
Check spelling and word form to fix errors.
coherence
Link ideas smoothly by using simple connect words and keep sentences short.
content
Stick to the task and give two or three strong reasons with simple proof.
content
Your view on the topic is clear.
structure
There is a simple plan with intro, body and conclusion.
style
You used words to show order, like First, Second, To conclude.
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