IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

Some people think scientific research should focus on solving world health problems. Others think that there are more important issues. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

A number of people speculate that scientific
research
Use synonyms
 should solely emphasise global health issues.
However
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, proponents contend there are many other areas.
This
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 essay will discuss both views and explain why a balanced approach is ultimately the most effective strategy. On the one hand, many believe that scientists should only need to focus on finding solutions for untreatable diseases. Today, there are several diseases
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such
Punctuation problem
, such
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 as cancer, rabies and others, that once appear in a patient, his chance of survival decreases to zero.
For instance
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, if a lab report showed rabies-positive in any person, there is no proper treatment for
this
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. Doctors suggest injecting poison into
such
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 a person so that he dies without pain.
Moreover
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,
It
Fix capitalization
it
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 is needed to make vaccines before any virus attack.
On the other hand
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, opponents argue that
research
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also
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 needs to focus on several other fields. The world population is increasing day by day .With the rapid growth in population, there is a need to improve
agricultural
Correct article usage
the agricultural
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 system by finding ways to grow more crops in a limited space.
Additionally
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, Now world has
become
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now become
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 electric, which is why there is a need to generate electricity efficiently and , more importantly, to store it.
Similarly
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, in Space programs, we need to develop new spaceships that will
research
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 unknown things in space.
To conclude
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,
although
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research
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 in health is crucial but we should not ignore development in other fields , which is necessary for the development of the world to move to the next era.

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planning
Plan what you want to say. Use one clear view for health and one for other work, then add your own view.
cohesion
Use linking words to show ideas. For example, use 'also', 'but', 'for example', and 'however'.
accuracy
Check facts you write. Some points here are not clearly true and need care.
structure
The essay uses 'On the one hand' and 'On the other hand' to show both sides.
content
There is an intro and a conclusion that state the idea.
content
Examples are used to show points.
Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • life expectancy
  • quality of life
  • non-communicable diseases
  • equitable access
  • economic stability
  • social well-being
  • renewable energy
  • existential threats
  • artificial intelligence
  • space exploration
  • diagnostics
  • treatment planning
  • holistic approach
  • comprehensive development
  • sustainable
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