IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 3

Television sports program shows such Olympic are a good source of motivation for youths who do not like to exercise much. Do you agree or disagree include examples in your answer and provide your owns opinion.

Nowadays, television program shows various sports events
such
Linking Words
 as
Olympic
Correct article usage
the Olympic
show examples
Use synonyms
games
Fix capitalization
Games
show examples
. Some people believe that these
games
Use synonyms
 work as motivation for those who do not like to exercise because, by watching these
Use synonyms
games
Punctuation problem
games,
show examples
 people will pay more attention to health and fitness. I agree with the given statement, and I will discuss these points in
details
Fix the agreement mistake
detail
show examples
 in the upcoming paragraphs. One of the main reasons for
Olympic
Correct article usage
the Olympic
show examples
Use synonyms
games
Fix capitalization
Games
show examples
are
Correct subject-verb agreement
is
show examples
 a good source of
motivation
Punctuation problem
motivation,
show examples
is
Use the right word
as
show examples
 it
will encourage
Wrong verb form
encourages
show examples
 individuals
try
Verb problem
to try
show examples
 to stay
more healthy
Correct word choice
healthier
show examples
 and
fit
Replace the word
fitter
show examples
. When they see their favourite stars playing on the screens, and they
winning
Verb problem
are winning
show examples
 the
games
Use synonyms
 with their fit
body
Use synonyms
.
For example
Linking Words
:
Linking Words
Then
Fix capitalization
then
show examples
 individuals try to pay more attention not only
different
Change preposition
to different
show examples
exercise
Fix the agreement mistake
exercises
show examples
 like swimming and running, but
also
Linking Words
 diet
that is
Linking Words
 fully filled with nutrients and
protiens
Correct your spelling
proteins
. So, they can gain a fit and
well maintain
Use the right word
well-maintained
show examples
body
Use synonyms
. Another possible reason
how
Correct word choice
why
show examples
 these
games
Use synonyms
 act as a motivator for individuals is
they
Correct word choice
that they
show examples
 will teach people the benefits of
hardwork
Correct your spelling
hard work
 and discipline
as
Punctuation problem
, as
show examples
 when they see their role models
are
Verb problem
apply
show examples
putting
too
Change preposition
in too
show examples
 much effort to gain that gym
body
Use synonyms
.
Then
Linking Words
 they will
also
Linking Words
 try to devote their free time to
make
Wrong verb form
making
show examples
 their
Use synonyms
body
Fix the agreement mistake
bodies
show examples
 fit. In
this
Linking Words
 way, they will
also
Linking Words
 learn a lesson that with the advent
proper
Change preposition
of proper
show examples
 practice and
Correct article usage
a timetable
show examples
timetable
Add a comma
timetable,
show examples
 anything can be achieved. In conclusion, these Olympic
games
Use synonyms
helps
Correct subject-verb agreement
help
show examples
 youths try to become
more
Fix the agreement mistake
apply
show examples
healthier
along with
Linking Words
 the benefit of following proper practice and
disciplice
Correct your spelling
discipline
 to maintain
the
Correct article usage
a
show examples
 fit
body
Use synonyms
.

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

structure
Plan your essay. Have one clear aim in the intro, two main ideas in the body, and a short ending.
content
Make points clear. Use small words and tell how they help the idea.
language
Check spell and grammar. Keep verbs and subject in one form and add 'to' after 'agree' when needed.
content
Give real, easy examples from sport to show how watching games can push you to train.
style
Use linking words like 'also', 'but', 'for example' to join ideas.
structure
Intro shows a view of the topic.
content
Two body parts show more on the topic.
Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • Pinnacle of athletic achievement
  • Inspire youths
  • Set personal fitness goals
  • Pique interest
  • Physical activities
  • Appealing
  • Dedication
  • Discipline
  • Motivational tool
  • Incorporate exercise
  • Relatable stories
  • Overcoming obstacles
  • Active lifestyle
  • Supportive environments
What to do next:
Look at other essays: