IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

Governments should spend money on railways rather than roads To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?

More and more
people
Use synonyms
 nowadays choose railways in their daily
travel
Use synonyms
 rather than
roads
Use synonyms
, so they perceive it necessary for
government
Correct article usage
the government
show examples
 to spend more money on railways
instead
Linking Words
 of
roads
Use synonyms
. I completely agree with
this
Linking Words
 idea.
Railway
Use synonyms
travel
Use synonyms
 is an effective way to relieve traffic jams
and
Punctuation problem
, and
show examples
 it makes
travel
Use synonyms
 more efficient. With the development of technology and the increase
of
Change preposition
in
show examples
people
Use synonyms
’s wealth, an increasing
amount
Check wording
number
show examples
 of cars have appeared on the cities’
roads
Use synonyms
which
Punctuation problem
, which
show examples
 makes cities always be crowded and really slows the traffic.
On the contrary
Linking Words
,
Use synonyms
railway
Correct article usage
the railway
show examples
 will never be affected by the heavy traffic
,
Punctuation problem
;
show examples
 it can keep its high speed under any circumstances, especially during
New
Correct article usage
the New
show examples
 Year holidays, when it
almost
Rephrase
apply
show examples
takes
people
Use synonyms
 driving a car twice as long to
back
Verb problem
get back
show examples
 to their hometown
than
Change preposition
as
show examples
 their counterparts
choosing
Wrong verb form
who choose
show examples
railway
Use synonyms
travel
Use synonyms
.
Then
Linking Words
, once the
railway
Use synonyms
 is significantly developed, more
people
Use synonyms
 will choose not to buy a car
Punctuation problem
, that
show examples
that
Correct pronoun usage
which
show examples
 will solve the problem of crowded cities.
Railway
Use synonyms
travel
Use synonyms
 is
also
Linking Words
 a more environmentally friendly way and
cost
Correct subject-verb agreement
costs
show examples
 less resources than road transport. Harmful gas like CO2 emitted from cars endangers the environment, making
earth’s
Fix capitalization
Earth’s
show examples
 temperature rise yearly and contributing to frequent extreme weather events. Plus, cars consume a lot of fossil fuels, which
is non
Verb problem
are
show examples
renewable
Replace the word
non-renewable
show examples
. If these resources can be saved,
it
Correct pronoun usage
they
show examples
 will be used in more necessary construction projects like military and science. These issues will all have
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
long-term impacts on the well-being of
people
Use synonyms
.
Linking Words
However
Punctuation problem
However,
show examples
 the
railway
Use synonyms
 transport will never have these side effects, it’s friendly to the environment and
cost
Wrong verb form
costs
show examples
 little. In conclusion, I believe that it is definitely a good idea for
government
Correct article usage
the government
show examples
 to spend more on
railway
Use synonyms
 development than on
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
roads
Use synonyms
.

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content
Your view is clear but add a second side or hold a balance. A line about roads or other transport helps show balance.
grammar
Fix long and hard words. Make short, easy sentences. Check grammar, like plural form and word order.
coherence
Use linking words to join ideas. Start each idea with a clean topic sentence and end with a small point.
vocabulary
Choose simple words and be exact. Some phrases are not easy to read.
content
Clear stance on the topic.
structure
Good layout with intro, body, and conclusion.
content
Use examples about traffic and the environment to back up points.
Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • Carbon emissions
  • Mass transportation
  • Traffic congestion
  • Economic growth
  • Regional development
  • Initial investment
  • Feasibility
  • Flexibility
  • Rural areas
  • Integration
  • Sustainable
  • Efficiency
  • Infrastructure
  • Commuters
  • Public expenditure
  • Autonomous vehicles
  • Long-term investment
  • Accessibility
  • Connectivity
  • Modal shift
What to do next:
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