the charts show the australian school leavers did immediatly after leaving secondary school

the charts show the australian school leavers did immediatly after leaving secondary school
IELTS Writing Task Chart for the charts show the australian school leavers did immediatly after leaving secondary school
The three pie charts show the percentage of Australian
students
Use synonyms
who left school as soon as they left secondary school in three years.
Overall
Linking Words
,all points experienced different changes over time .
While
Linking Words
the level of employed leavers gradually increased,
students
Use synonyms
without jobs or
further
Linking Words
education were dropping out of the academy less often. As the charts show,
students
Use synonyms
who left the academy for
further
Linking Words
education were the dominant category in 1980 ,
this
Linking Words
number falling
initially
Linking Words
from 50% to 38% before declining to 37% in 2000.
However
Linking Words
,in each decade,the level of employed leavers increased significantly.
Initially
Linking Words
, the number of student leavers with work was only 40% in 1980,which was close to the figure of
students
Use synonyms
with
further
Linking Words
education.
This
Linking Words
figure continued to rise to 50 % and 55% in 1990 and 2000,respectively.
In contrast
Linking Words
level of unemployed
students
Use synonyms
experienced some fluctuations.In 1980, the number of
students
Use synonyms
without work who were leaving school was only 10%. Later , in 1990,
this
Linking Words
figure increased to 12% but in 2000, it fell to merely 8%

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "further, initially".
Vocabulary: Rephrase your introduction. Words match: 70%.
Vocabulary: Replace the words students with synonyms.
Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "show" in your introduction.
Vocabulary: The word "charts" was used 2 times.
Vocabulary: The word "figure" was used 3 times.
Vocabulary: The word "figure" was used 3 times.
Vocabulary: The word "show" was used 2 times.
Vocabulary: The word "number of" was used 2 times.
Vocabulary: The word "fall" was used 2 times.
Vocabulary: The word "increased" was used 2 times.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • tertiary education
  • vocational training institutions
  • competitive job market
  • skilled professionals
  • workforce
  • practical work experience
  • employment opportunities
  • gap year
  • volunteer work
  • personal development
  • formal education
  • online courses
  • part-time studies
  • continuous learning
  • unemployment
  • career guidance
  • support services
  • informed decisions
What to do next:
Look at other essays: