IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4

Some people think that urban spaces should be used for parks rather than for housing. Discus both sides and give your opinion

Today we live in fast
changing
Use the right word
fast-changing
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 world
and
Punctuation problem
, and
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major
Correct article usage
a major
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 part of
people
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 live in
the
Correct article usage
apply
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cities. But there is a
problem
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 about urban spaces - it
doens't
Correct your spelling
doesn't do
 enough for everything -
people
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 should decide
Correct word choice
whether is
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is it
Correct word order
it is
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 for living or business
or
Punctuation problem
, or
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 is it for parks and other entertainment.
This
Linking Words
 essay will discuss the arguments
to
Change preposition
for
show examples
 both sides of the question, with my personal viewpoint on the
problem
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 presented
at the end
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. On one hand, it's a common
problem
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 price of flats
at
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in
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 the
cites
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cities
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.
Nowdays
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Nowadays
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 it's almost
imposible
Correct your spelling
impossible
 to buy a new house alone. So, if will have much
spaces
Fix the agreement mistake
space
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 for building
apartments
Punctuation problem
apartments,
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 it could somehow decrease the
problem
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. But it
solve
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solves
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 the
problem
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 for only for decade or
may be
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maybe
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 less.
Morover
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Moreover
, it could cause
enviromental
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environmental
 problems mainly connected with air
polution
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pollution
 that could raise
lung's
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lung
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desease
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disease
.
On the other hand
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, parks are
peace
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a part
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 of
the
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apply
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nature that
people
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 love. It's a place where you could open your mind and enjoy life without hustle and bustle.
Therefore
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, parks are good for
mental
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the mental
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 health of the
people
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that are living
Wrong verb form
who live
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at
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in
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 the city. Fresh air
are
Correct subject-verb agreement
is
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also
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 available there as
woods
Correct article usage
the woods
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 at the park produce O2 during the process of
fotosynteza
Correct your spelling
photosynthesis
.
Moreover
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, it's the perfect playground for children. They need to have some time outside
home
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the home
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 and usually provide
such
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opportunity
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an opportunity
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. Neverthe In conclusion,
i
Fix capitalization
I
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 would like to say that there should be
balance
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a balance
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 between buildings and green areas
at
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in
show examples
the
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apply
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cities. We need to
make
Verb problem
conduct
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 more
researchs
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research
 on that theme to make the best living
condtions
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conditions
 and opportunities for
people
Use synonyms
.

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content
Explain your view clearly in the end. Say your opinion in one clear sentence.
linking
Improve link words. Use 'and', 'but', 'however', 'for example' to join ideas.
grammar
Check spelling and grammar. Use simple forms and common words.
examples
Give bigger or clearer examples for each point.
structure
Follow a simple plan: intro - two sides - opinion - conclusion.
structure
There is a plan with two sides.
content
Some good ideas are shown, like prices of homes and parks.
conclusion
There is a final idea to balance built up and green areas.
Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

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