IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 2

Some people argue that universities should prioritise the development of 21st-century skills such as critical thinking, creativity, collaboration, communication, and digital literacy over traditional disciplinary knowledge (Please use your university discipline as examples in the discussion) to better prepare students for the rapidly changing world. Others, however, believe that a strong foundation in traditional academic skills is essential. Discuss.

The priority of pre-service visual arts teacher education
:
Punctuation problem
:
show examples
 21st-century
skills
Use synonyms
 against traditional disciplinary
knowledge
Use synonyms
 Recently, there has been a heated debate between the priority of 21st-century
skills
Use synonyms
 versus traditional subject
knowledge
Use synonyms
 owing to the rapid rise of awareness about these soft
skills
Use synonyms
 in the fast-changing job market. For future visual arts educators in their university studies, these 21st-century
skills
Use synonyms
, including creativity, collaboration, and digital literacy, have become one of the fundamental learning objectives that contain disciplinary
knowledge
Use synonyms
. Those who support the precedence of 21st-century
skills
Use synonyms
, claiming
Wrong verb form
claim that
show examples
 those
skills
Use synonyms
 are a helping hand for modern educators to keep pace with the
time
Fix the agreement mistake
times
show examples
.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, opponents contend that rich subject
knowledge
Use synonyms
 is essential as the root of the teaching process.
This
Linking Words
 essay aims to examine the arguments put forward by advocates and opponents of the priority of 21st-century
skills
Use synonyms
 over traditional disciplinary in the pre-service visual arts educator training.

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

task response
The essay needs a clear view. State your main point in one sentence at the end of the intro or at the start of the body.
structure
Make a plan. Say 2 or 3 main ideas and keep to them in order.
content
Add a real example from the field of visual arts teaching to show each idea.
coherence
Use link words to show how ideas fit. This helps the flow from one idea to the next.
conclusion
Finish with a short end that sums up your view.
content
The topic is clear and you talk about a debate.
structure
There is some effort to cover both sides.
Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: