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Writing Samples
Band 6.5

The chart below shows the number of girls per 100 boys enrolled in different levels of school education. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

The chart below shows the number of girls per 100 boys enrolled in different levels of school education. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
The bar chart below depicts the number of female
students
Use synonyms
 per 100 male
students
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,
categorized
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categorised
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 into levels of
school
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 education and nations' development status, from 1990 to 1998. On the whole, it is apparent that the number of
school
Use synonyms
girls
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 went up considerably over the timeframe.
Additionally
Linking Words
, it was developed
countries
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 that had more female
students
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 than developing one.
According to
Linking Words
 the chart, in 1990, there were above 80 primary
students
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 who were
girls
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 in developing regions, which went up to over 85 in the next 8 years. Meanwhile, the former for developing
countries
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 was higher, seeing a minimal rise from 95 to 96
school
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girls
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 during the period. For
the
Correct article usage
apply
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secondary education, the data for developing
countries
Use synonyms
 was under 80
students
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 after a remarkable climb from around 70
school
Use synonyms
girls
Use synonyms
 in 1998.
Moreover
Linking Words
, the figure for developed
countries
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 was approximately equal to that for boys in both
two
Check wording
apply
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years. In terms of
the
Correct article usage
apply
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tertiary education, in the first year mentioned, there were below 70
of
Change preposition
apply
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the
Correct article usage
apply
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students
Use synonyms
in
Change preposition
from
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 developing
countries
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 who were
girls
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, which was at the bottom.
This
Linking Words
 figure
then
Linking Words
 increased moderately to 75
students
Use synonyms
, yet
standing
Verb problem
it remained
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 at the initial ranking. At the same time, the top position belonged to the data for developed areas
with
Punctuation problem
, with
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 a significant growth from 105 to nearly 115
students
Use synonyms
.

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Vocabulary: Replace the words students, school, girls, countries with synonyms.
▼
Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "number of" in your introduction.
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Vocabulary: The word "chart" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "figure" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "figure" was used 2 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "data" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "number of" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "went up" was used 2 times.
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Topic Vocabulary:
  • chart
  • number
  • girls
  • boys
  • enrolled
  • education
  • primary
  • secondary
  • higher
  • ratio
  • indicate
  • barriers
  • accessible
  • significant
  • decline
  • pursuing
  • features
  • comparisons
  • gender
  • equality
  • societal
  • norms
  • progress
  • issues
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