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Writing Samples
Band 5.5

the chart below shows the average number of hours spent on manufacturing a single unit of car by various manufactures.

the chart below shows the average number of hours spent on manufacturing a single unit of car by various manufactures.
The line chart illustrates the total number of
time
Check wording
hours
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 spent on manufacturing among four different vehicles between 1998 and 2005, the average number measured in
hours
Use synonyms
.
Overall
Linking Words
, all kinds showed
downward
Correct article usage
a downward
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 trend over the period. In 1998,
the
Correct article usage
apply
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general motors
Fix capitalization
General Motors
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 started at 34
hours
Use synonyms
, the highest compared to other cars, before falling consistently
about
Change preposition
by about
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 20
hours
Use synonyms
 by the end of the period. Ford,
on the other hand
Linking Words
, spent
with
Change preposition
apply
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approximately 28
hours
Use synonyms
 to produce one car in 1998, peaking at nearly 32
hours
Use synonyms
, overtaking
general motors
Fix capitalization
General Motors
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 in 2001. After 2001,
this
Linking Words
 number fell sharply to the lowest point, lower than 20
hours
Use synonyms
 in 2005.
By contrast
Linking Words
, Toyota and Honda stood at roughly 24
hours
Use synonyms
 and 22
hours
Use synonyms
, respectively, and
ending
Wrong verb form
ended
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 with less than 20
hours
Use synonyms
 in 2005. Notably,
the
Correct article usage
apply
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general motors
Fix capitalization
General Motors
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becoming
Wrong verb form
became
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 the highest
than
Change preposition
apply
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all
Correct determiner usage
apply
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manufacturers
Fix the agreement mistake
manufacturer
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 in 2005.

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
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Common mistake: Your writing should be 150-250 words.
Vocabulary: Replace the words hours with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "number of" in your introduction.
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Vocabulary: The word "fall" was used 2 times.
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