Some people think that hard working and determination are the key factors for being successful in the life, other people feel that other factors are important. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

There is a considerable debate over whether the minority of people believe that
for
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, for
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being
successful
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successful,
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dedicated work and perseverance are the most common aspects in
the
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apply
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real
life
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or
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, or
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others think that alternative factors are vital. From my perspective, both of those categories are highly important key steps to
achieve
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achieving
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success. On the one hand, certain individuals consider that being successful requires hard
working
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work
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and determination in
the
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apply
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life
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. Because
,
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apply
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almost all people do not have the possibility to attain triumph without any sacrifices and failures. Namely, achieving attainment mostly necessitates a lot of mistakes and losses in order to
deduce
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learn
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from them during our
life
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.
For example
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,
according to
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the scientific research, the majority of researchers suggest that in 99% of cases, hard work and persistence lead to achievement compared to patience and capability.
Additionally
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, the factor of discipline
also
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plays a crucial role in achieving goals. Because
,
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apply
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enduring numerous challenges is
complicated
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a complicated
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process for most people.
On the other hand
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, not only
assiduous
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are assiduous
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efforts result
in
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for
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success, but
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also there are
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there are also
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a number of significant elements in accomplishing purposes
like
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, like
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confidence and knowledge. To be precise, if you are willing to
succeed
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achieve
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your targets
from
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apply
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step by step,
while
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those who
surrounded
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surround
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you can influence your decisions, demonstrating doubt.
Then
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,
this
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might
be
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apply
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cause some distractions like low self-esteem, hindering you from moving forward. When a person has
self- confidence
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self-confidence
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, they tend to be successful except
unnecessary
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for unnecessary
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skepticism
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scepticism
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.
Furthermore
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, having
wide
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a wide
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range of knowledge
also
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plays a substantial role in attaining something in
the
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apply
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life
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,
which
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apply
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both theoretically and practically. The more society possesses education, the more the indications of achievers develop. In conclusion, both hard
working
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work
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and determination have merits
,
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;
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besides
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, self-assurance and
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a
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wide range of knowledge have a significant impact on
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a persons’
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persons’
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person’s
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attainments.

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structure
Make clear topic sentences for each paragraph.
coherence
Use simple words to keep ideas clear and link them with easy link words.
content
Add more real examples or facts to back each point.
grammar
Check grammar and fix long sentences.
style
Limit hard words and keep a steady pace in the text.
content
Keep to the task and do not add new points not on the topic.
structure
Plan is clear: intro, two body parts, and a conclusion.
content
The writer tries to discuss both views and give their own view.
coherence
Link words like On the one hand, On the other hand are used.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • perseverance
  • skill development
  • overcoming obstacles
  • social connections
  • economic background
  • grit
  • entrepreneurs
  • existing connections
  • industries
  • career paths
  • balanced perspective
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