Some people think that hard working and determination are the key factors for being successful in the life, other people feel that other factors are important. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

There is a considerable debate over whether the minority of people believe that

for

Punctuation problem

, for

show examples

being

successful

Punctuation problem

successful,

show examples

dedicated work and perseverance are the most common aspects in

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

real

life

Use synonyms

Punctuation problem

, or

show examples

others think that alternative factors are vital. From my perspective, both of those categories are highly important key steps to

achieve

Wrong verb form

achieving

show examples

success. On the one hand, certain individuals consider that being successful requires hard

working

Replace the word

work

show examples

and determination in

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

life

Use synonyms

. Because

Punctuation problem

apply

show examples

almost all people do not have the possibility to attain triumph without any sacrifices and failures. Namely, achieving attainment mostly necessitates a lot of mistakes and losses in order to

deduce

Verb problem

learn

show examples

from them during our

life

Use synonyms

For example

Linking Words

according to

Linking Words

the scientific research, the majority of researchers suggest that in 99% of cases, hard work and persistence lead to achievement compared to patience and capability.

Additionally

Linking Words

, the factor of discipline

also

Linking Words

plays a crucial role in achieving goals. Because

Punctuation problem

apply

show examples

enduring numerous challenges is

complicated

Correct article usage

a complicated

show examples

process for most people.

On the other hand

Linking Words

, not only

assiduous

Verb problem

are assiduous

show examples

efforts result

Change preposition

for

show examples

success, but

Linking Words

also there are

Correct word order

there are also

show examples

a number of significant elements in accomplishing purposes

Punctuation problem

, like

show examples

confidence and knowledge. To be precise, if you are willing to

succeed

Verb problem

achieve

show examples

your targets

from

Change preposition

apply

show examples

step by step,

while

Linking Words

those who

surrounded

Wrong verb form

surround

show examples

you can influence your decisions, demonstrating doubt.

Then

Linking Words

this

Linking Words

might

Verb problem

apply

show examples

cause some distractions like low self-esteem, hindering you from moving forward. When a person has

self- confidence

Use the right word

self-confidence

show examples

, they tend to be successful except

unnecessary

Change preposition

for unnecessary

show examples

skepticism

Change the spelling

scepticism

show examples

Furthermore

Linking Words

, having

wide

Correct article usage

a wide

show examples

range of knowledge

also

Linking Words

plays a substantial role in attaining something in

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

life

Use synonyms

which

Correct pronoun usage

apply

show examples

both theoretically and practically. The more society possesses education, the more the indications of achievers develop. In conclusion, both hard

working

Replace the word

work

show examples

and determination have merits

Punctuation problem

;

show examples

besides

Linking Words

, self-assurance and

Correct article usage

show examples

wide range of knowledge have a significant impact on

Correct article usage

a persons’

show examples

persons’

Check wording

person’s

show examples

attainments.

musabekovaferuza50

Oct 22, 2025

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structure

Make clear topic sentences for each paragraph.

coherence

Use simple words to keep ideas clear and link them with easy link words.

content

Add more real examples or facts to back each point.

grammar

Check grammar and fix long sentences.

style

Limit hard words and keep a steady pace in the text.

content

Keep to the task and do not add new points not on the topic.

structure

Plan is clear: intro, two body parts, and a conclusion.

content

The writer tries to discuss both views and give their own view.

coherence

Link words like On the one hand, On the other hand are used.

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10
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
30
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

298 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

perseverance
skill development
overcoming obstacles
social connections
economic background
grit
entrepreneurs
existing connections
industries
career paths
balanced perspective

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Some people dislike changes in their society and in their own lives, and want things to stay the same. Why do some people want things to stay the same? Why should change be regarded as something positive?

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Some people think that we should invent a new language for international communication. Will the benefits of this outweigh the problems associated with it?