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Writing Samples
Band 4

Many people argue that in order to improve educational equality, high school students are encourage to make comments or even criticism on their teachers. Other think it will lead to loss of respect and discipline in the classroom. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

Some people believe that high school
students
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 should make
comments
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 on their
teachers
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 to improve the educational
equality
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equality,
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while
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 others think that
that
Correct determiner usage
this
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 can lose
classroom
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 discipline. I strongly consider that high school
students
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 are mature enough to give opinions about their classes to the
teachers
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;
however
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, it is significantly important to consider how they
tell
Verb problem
express them
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. On the one hand, I believe that
students
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 can
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opinion
Wrong verb form
opinions
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 to their
teachers
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 only if they can be polite and considerate to their
teachers
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. It is understandable that
students
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 have their own
wills
Fix the agreement mistake
will
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 and wish to
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opinion
Wrong verb form
opinions
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 to their
teachers
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 in order to enhance educational equality;
however
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, it is equally important that
students
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 show
a
Correct article usage
apply
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respect to their
teachers
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. If
students
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 comment on
teachers
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' teaching methods and materials, they may improve their ways of teaching
though
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, though
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 it is
also
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 true that certain
teachers
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 believe that
are
Verb problem
apply
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their disrespectful attitudes.
Therefore
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, in order to be equal,
telling
Wrong verb form
they should tell
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 their opinions politely
particularly
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, particularly
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 when they talk about negative subjects.
On the other hand
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, giving
comments
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 to
teachers
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 can be a cause of serious situations
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such
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, such
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 as losing respect and discipline
not
Punctuation problem
, not
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 only in the
classroom
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 but
also
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 from their parents. It is undeniable that teenagers are
difficult
Correct article usage
a difficult
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 age and they wish to make
comments
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 about everything;
however
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, it is very dangerous if they say whatever they think.
For example
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, when I was
at
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in
show examples
 high school, a student disagreed
to
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with
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 what
science
Correct article usage
the science
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 teacher said, and
on
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apply
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the next day, almost all the
students
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 in the
classroom
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 disobeyed the teacher. The situation was very intense, and when I think back about that moment, I believe that it was immature attitudes;
however
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, one single
opinion
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 can make it difficult to control the
classroom
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.
As a result
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,
students
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 can lose their opportunities to learn effectively in the
classrooms
Fix the agreement mistake
classroom
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 if their class is lost in control. In conclusion,
although
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 it is understandable that teenagers are mature enough to make
comments
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 on their
teachers
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, you have to be very careful
how
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about how
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 you tell. In order to promote educational equality, you need to show them respect and tell your
opinion
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 in a polite way;
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otherwise
Add a comma
otherwise,
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 a
disrespectul
Correct your spelling
disrespectful
 attitude towards
teachers
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 can be a cause of trouble in classrooms.

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task
Make your view clear in the first or last paragraph. Say yes or no and keep that line in the final paper.
task
Add more detail for each view. Give real examples to show your point.
language
Work on the grammar and use simple words. This will help your ideas to be seen more easily.
content
You try to cover both sides of the issue.
content
There is a clear place for your own idea in the end.
content
You use a real memory from school to support a point.
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