IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

Some people believe it is best to accept a bad situation such as unsatisfactory jobs or shortage of money.others arige that it is better to try to improve such situations. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

Many
people
Use synonyms
convinced
Verb problem
are convinced
show examples
 that it is better to accept unpleasant situations in their lives rather than to attempt to fix them.
Linking Words
However
Add a comma
However,
show examples
 there is a part of the population who think
otherwise
Linking Words
.
Overall
Linking Words
, I strongly agree with the second opinion, but I slightly understand
another
Use the right word
the other
show examples
 one.
Firstly
Linking Words
, in my opinion, as our lives are not as long as desired,
people
Use synonyms
 should entertain and feel satisfaction in their lives, because it is the best they can do. In
this
Linking Words
 case, accepting bad situations,
such
Linking Words
 as unsatisfactory jobs and
shortage
Correct article usage
a shortage
show examples
 of money, would not turn your life around in an appropriate direction
,
Punctuation problem
;
show examples
 it
just would
Correct word order
would just
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 keep your
wellbeing
Use the right word
well-being
show examples
 intact.
Moreover
Linking Words
, even if you try just a little in order to fix your situation, it could bring
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
significant upheavals in your existence. From my experience, I had been going through a hard time, without money, before I decided to change my life. I started studying much harder than I did before to enter
to
Change preposition
apply
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
one of the best universities.
As a result
Linking Words
, now I am studying at MIT with my friends and
incredible
Correct article usage
an incredible
show examples
 community of the smartest
people
Use synonyms
 in the world.
Secondly
Linking Words
, obviously, there is a part of
population
Correct article usage
the population
show examples
,
Punctuation problem
apply
show examples
 whose state
it
Use the right word
is
show examples
 the worst, so even if they tried to do anything
they
Punctuation problem
, they
show examples
 would likely not improve their situation.
For example
Linking Words
, invalids or children from the poorest families. So, most of them just accepted all
bad
Correct article usage
the bad
show examples
 things that happened. In conclusion,
mostly
Use the right word
most
show examples
people
Use synonyms
 are able to improve
situations
Correct article usage
the situations
show examples
 they are in, and should do it.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, if your state is so
miserable
Punctuation problem
miserable,
show examples
 you should not be delusional, and you will not be condemned by others if you accept it.

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grammar
Fix many small grammar errors. Use simple sentence form. Check tense and subject-verb match.
structure
Add a clear start to your essay. State the topic and your view in one line. Use linking words to move ideas, like 'first', 'but', 'so', 'in conclusion'.
development
Build one idea at a time. Give a reason first, then a small example or detail. Do not use long, sleepy sentences.
vocabulary
Use common words and short phrases. Check spelling and punctuation. End each sentence with a period.
content
The writer gives a clear view and uses a real life example.
structure
The essay shows both sides, not just one view.
Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

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