IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

Some people say that advertising is extremely successful at persuading us to buy things. Other people think that advertising is so common that we no longer pay attention to it. Discuss both these views and give your opinion.

Some
people
Use synonyms
 think that advertising is completely successful at encouraging us to buy some
items
Use synonyms
,
while
Linking Words
other
Fix the agreement mistake
others
show examples
Use synonyms
people
Check wording
apply
show examples
argue that advertising is so frequent that we have no interest in it. I believe that
advertisements
Use synonyms
 have an essential impact on our spending. Some individuals claim that
ads
Use synonyms
 are extremely successful at persuading most
people
Use synonyms
 to own some
items
Use synonyms
 or create an account on some websites. Clearly, there are a lot of
advertisements
Use synonyms
 around us ,
such
Linking Words
 as on TV, on social media, and on billboards.
As a result
Linking Words
 of these kinds of videos or pictures persuaded to spend our money.
Additionally
Linking Words
, we want to buy them in situations where we do not need them.
For instance
Linking Words
, some statistics in Turkey show that selling rates and profits have dramatically increased via
advertisements
Use synonyms
 on a TV channel, which introduces its own
items
Use synonyms
.
However
Linking Words
, most citizens argue that we no longer pay attention to the
advertisements
Use synonyms
, because they are common.
Moreover
Linking Words
, they find it difficult to watch an ad about an item which they do not need.
For instance
Linking Words
, a survey conducted in Turkey demonstrates that the biggest part of the society turns off the voice of their TVs when
advertisements
Use synonyms
 begin, and some of them skip the
ads
Use synonyms
 when they are surfing on social media. I think that
advertisements
Use synonyms
 have a vital effect on our expenditures, yet we do not think that. We usually try to skip or turn off the
ads
Use synonyms
 , but we have seen it once,
thus
Linking Words
 it affects our opinion when we want to buy things.
For instance
Linking Words
, a questionnaire conducted in Europe illustrates that most
people
Use synonyms
 buy some
items
Use synonyms
, which they have already seen but skipped
on
Change preposition
in
show examples
 the
ads
Use synonyms
. These
people
Use synonyms
 say that I do not pay attention to the
ads
Use synonyms
,
although
Linking Words
 they buy
items
Use synonyms
,
which
Change preposition
for which
show examples
 they observed an ad for that item.
To sum up
Linking Words
, there are two opposite beliefs in the community. Some of them think that we do not manage our spending with
ads
Use synonyms
,
while
Linking Words
 others say that adverts are accomplished in changing our opinions about
items
Use synonyms
. I argue that the
ads
Use synonyms
 alter our spending habits, but we do not recognise it.

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

planning
Plan your writing before you start. Make a clear map: what is the view you take, what is the other side, and what is your own answer.
structure
Write clear topic sentences for each paragraph. Keep one idea per paragraph and use linking words to join ideas.
language
Use simple but correct grammar. Check sentence form, verb tense, and article use.
evidence
Give real but simple facts or examples. If you say 'in Turkey', make the result clear, not vague.
content
The essay tries to cover both views and give a clear opinion.
evidence
The writer uses some places like TV, social media, and billboards as examples.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • persuade
  • promote
  • attract
  • influence
  • impact
  • consumerism
  • commercialism
  • market
  • product
  • brand
  • endorsement
  • manipulative
  • saturated
  • overwhelmed
  • repetitive
  • distracting
  • irrelevant
  • exaggerated
  • misleading
  • desensitized
What to do next:
Look at other essays: