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Writing Samples
Band 3.5

The line graph shows the number of players in four different sports (badminton, tennis, basketball, rugby) in a particular European country between 1985 and 2005.

The line graph shows the number of players in four different sports (badminton, tennis, basketball, rugby) in a particular European country between 1985 and 2005.
The line graph demonstrates the percentage of participants in four different sports:
badminton
Use synonyms
,
tennis
Use synonyms
, basketball and
rugby
Use synonyms
. In
period
Correct article usage
the period
show examples
 from 1985 to
2005
Punctuation problem
2005,
show examples
 in each European country.
Overall
Linking Words
,
rugby
Use synonyms
 decreased over the period.
Tennis
Use synonyms
 increased slowly.
While
Linking Words
 basketball and
badminton
Use synonyms
 remained
plateu
Correct your spelling
plateau
all time
Use the right word
all-time
show examples
. In 1985, the number of
playes
Correct your spelling
players
Use synonyms
rugby
Change preposition
of rugby
show examples
 was 240.  By
1990
Punctuation problem
1990,
show examples
 it decreased to 205. In
2000
Punctuation problem
2000,
show examples
 it decreased sharply to 150.
Then
Linking Words
this
Linking Words
 number fell
off
Change preposition
apply
show examples
to 50 in 2005. In the beginning
tennis
Use synonyms
players
Use synonyms
 was 150. By 2005 it
grew up
Verb problem
had grown
show examples
 steadily to 220. In
1995
Punctuation problem
1995,
show examples
 both
tennis
Use synonyms
 and
rugby
Use synonyms
players
Use synonyms
 were the same with 200. Basketball did not change over
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
time and remained stable with 80 participants.
Badminton
Use synonyms
 started with 55.
Then
Linking Words
its
Use the right word
it's
show examples
 a little decreased to 48. But since
1995
Punctuation problem
1995,
show examples
 it
stayed
Verb problem
has stayed
show examples
 constant with 50
players
Use synonyms
. In
2005
Punctuation problem
2005,
show examples
badminton
Use synonyms
 had 50
players
Use synonyms
 as
rugby
Use synonyms
.

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
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Introduction: The introduction is missing.
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Introduction: Change the first sentence in the introduction.
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Introduction: The chart intro is missing.
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Common mistake: Your writing should be 150-250 words.
Introduction: The chart intro is missing.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase your introduction. Words match: 69%.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words badminton, tennis, rugby, players with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: The word "decreased" was used 4 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "remained" was used 2 times.
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Topic Vocabulary:
  • number of players
  • line graph
  • sports categories
  • fluctuations
  • trends
  • upward trend
  • downward trend
  • peaks
  • plateaus
  • popularity
  • time period
  • significant changes
  • comparative analysis
  • demographic
  • sports culture
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