IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

Wealthy countries should accept more refugees and provide them with basic assistance such as food and housing. To what extend do you agree or disagree?

While
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 humanitarian principles advocate for supporting refugees, wealthy nations should not be compelled to accept them unconditionally.
This
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 essay argues that
such
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 policies may undermine foster dependency and create social tensions. At the beginning, unconditional aid fosters a culture of dependency rather than self-sufficiency.
This
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 is to say
countries
Punctuation problem
, countries
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 which support these
displace
Wrong verb form
displaced
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 people may unintentionally erase their ability to work. Research by the Migration Policy Institute shows that refugees receiving housing subsidies for over two years are 40% less likely to find employment. In Sweden, where integration programs require language proficiency and vocational training, refugee employment rates exceed 60%—a stark contrast to countries offering free benefits without conditions.
This
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 suggests that basic assistance without accountability measures may perpetuate poverty cycles.
Finally
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, large-scale refugee intake can exacerbate social tensions. Specifically,
by
Change preposition
apply
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providing these people with food and beverage supplies unconditionally will result in local citizens having
less
Fix the agreement mistake
fewer
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 resources to receive,
social
Correct word choice
and social
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 conflicts may arise if
such
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pension
Correct article usage
a pension
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failed
Wrong verb form
fails
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 to benefit local residents. In France, where 30% of social housing is allocated to asylum seekers, local residents have protested against perceived resource hoarding.
Similarly
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, Germany’s 2015-2016 refugee crisis saw a 25% rise in right-wing voting, as citizens feared cultural dilution. These examples highlight that without careful management, humanitarian efforts may inadvertently fuel nationalism. In conclusion,
while
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 compassion for refugees is essential, wealthy nations must
prioritize
Change the spelling
prioritise
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 sustainable integration over unconditional aid.
This
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 could involve stricter border controls, targeted employment programs, and regional burden-sharing agreements. Only through balanced policies can host countries avoid economic collapse and social fragmentation.

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task
Start with a clear view on the issue and keep to it in each part of the essay.
task
Give one strong reason in each para and add a short, clear example.
coherence
Use clear links to move ideas from one to the next. Use simple words like also, but, so, next.
coherence
Keep one main idea in each paragraph and end with a short wrap up.
task
Check facts and use clear proof from places you name, make sure words fit the claim.
coherence
End with a short line that restates your big idea in a simple way.
content
You show a clear view of the topic.
structure
Signs in the text help reader see the plan.
content
You use real places as proof.
structure
The flow stays steady from start to end.
Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • Refugees
  • Asylum seekers
  • Humanitarian aid
  • Integration
  • Multiculturalism
  • Economic impact
  • Public services
  • International law
  • Conventions relating to the status of refugees
  • Labor market
  • Cultural enrichment
  • Burden-sharing
  • Resettlement programs
  • Host country
  • Border security
  • Comprehensive policy
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