IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 3.5

the plans below show a public park when it first opened in 1920 and the same park today.

The plans
presents
Correct subject-verb agreement
present
show examples
 information regarding a public
park
Use synonyms
 from the time it was opened in 1920 and the renewed version of that
today
Use synonyms
.
Overall
Linking Words
, as it is observed, there are some changes in the Grange
Use synonyms
park
Fix capitalization
Park
show examples
today
Use synonyms
which
Punctuation problem
, which
show examples
 is
modernized
Change the spelling
modernised
show examples
but
Punctuation problem
, but
show examples
 still it has
remained
Use the right word
retained
show examples
with
Change preposition
apply
show examples
the same self amenities. Which is very reasonable and helpful for
such
Linking Words
a
Correct article usage
an
show examples
 area . In 1920, there was a fountain in the middle of the
park
Use synonyms
,
surrounding
Wrong verb form
surrounded
show examples
with
Change preposition
by
show examples
 seats and
rose
Correct article usage
a rose
show examples
 garden
in addition
Linking Words
 to two
enterence
Correct your spelling
entrances
 in the front and back of
fount
Check wording
the fountain
show examples
.
Furthermore
Linking Words
, when you get into the
park
Use synonyms
 and cross from the
fount
Check wording
front
show examples
,
in
Change preposition
on
show examples
 the lift
Use synonyms
side
Punctuation problem
side,
show examples
 there was a stage for musicians and
in
Change preposition
on
show examples
 both
Use synonyms
side
Fix the agreement mistake
sides
show examples
 of that
thre
Correct your spelling
there
was
Correct subject-verb agreement
were
show examples
 rose gardens
as well as
Linking Words
 seats. Followed by that,
in
Change preposition
on
show examples
 the right
side
Use synonyms
 of the
Use the right word
font
show examples
fount
Punctuation problem
fount,
show examples
 there was a pond for water plants
and
Punctuation problem
, and
show examples
in
Change preposition
on
show examples
Correct article usage
the opposit
show examples
opposit
Use the right word
opposite
show examples
side
Use synonyms
 of that, there was a glasshouse. In comparison
of
Change preposition
with
show examples
 Grange
Use synonyms
park
Fix capitalization
Park
show examples
 in 1920, there is a rose garden with seats around it; in the middle, which
replaced
Verb problem
is replaced
show examples
 by
fountain
Correct article usage
a fountain
show examples
.
Moreover
Linking Words
, the rose garden
in
Change preposition
on
show examples
 the right
side
Use synonyms
 has been
exchanged
Verb problem
replaced
show examples
 by a cafe
today
Use synonyms
and
Punctuation problem
, and
show examples
 the
pound
Use the right word
pond
show examples
 for water
changed
Verb problem
has been changed
show examples
 to
children's
Correct article usage
a children's
show examples
 play area after renovation.
Linking Words
Also
Add a comma
Also,
show examples
 the
orriginal
Correct your spelling
original
 stage
foe
Use the right word
for
show examples
 musicians was dismantled and the amphitheatre has been built
instead
Linking Words
. And the most important for
today
Use synonyms
's life, there is a new and modern
enterance
Check wording
apply
show examples
underground car
park
Use synonyms
, which added more facilities to the
park
Use synonyms
.

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structure
Plan your essay with clear steps: intro, old park description, new park description, and a short end.
language
Use short, plain words and small sentences to keep simple meaning.
coherence
Link ideas with simple joining words like 'first', 'then', 'also', 'but', 'however'.
accuracy
Check the facts you write about the park, and spell key names clear.
content
You show the old park and the new park in the same piece.
detail
You name many parts of the park, like fountain and car park.
structure
You use a sense of compare, which helps the reader see change.
Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • recreational facilities
  • landscaping
  • naturalistic
  • amenities
  • formal gardens
  • ergonomic
  • symmetric designs
  • inclusive
  • accessible
  • accommodations
  • native plant species
  • societal changes
  • visitor services
  • community events
  • evolution
  • modern playgrounds
  • wildflower meadows
What to do next:
Look at other essays: