IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 3

the plans below show a public park when it first opened in 1920 and the same park today.

The maps depict the
renoations
Correct your spelling
renovations
 of Grange Park in 1920 and the same park today
which
Punctuation problem
, which
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 involved relocations and changes
but
Punctuation problem
, but
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still it
Correct word order
it still
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 has kept the
some
Use the right word
same
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 features as before.
Overall
Linking Words
, it is evident that everything
Verb problem
has modernized
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modernized
Change the spelling
modernised
show examples
through
Change preposition
over
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 nearly a century
which
Punctuation problem
, which
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 is normally supposed to happen
but
Punctuation problem
, but
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 still there are some
treats
Check wording
things
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 like the main amenities which is still the same as before
but
Punctuation problem
, but
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 more
usefull
Correct your spelling
useful
 and beneficial. In 1920, as you go
the
Change preposition
through the
show examples
Correct your spelling
entrance
entrence
Punctuation problem
entrence,
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 there was a
water
Use synonyms
 fountain in the middle of the park that was closed to the glasshouse and
seats
Use synonyms
in
Change preposition
on
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 the right side and a stage for musicians
in
Change preposition
on
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left
Correct article usage
the left
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 side.
the
Fix capitalization
The
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 public
fecilities
Correct your spelling
facilities
 were good as well
notably
Punctuation problem
, notably
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 the
seats
Use synonyms
in
Change preposition
apply
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serrounding
Correct your spelling
surrounding
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
the stage and the rose
golden
Replace the word
gold
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 which were located between the
seats
Use synonyms
.
In addition
Linking Words
, there was another rose garden
in
Change preposition
on
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 the right side of the
fount
Use the right word
fountain
show examples
and
Punctuation problem
, and
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 next to
that
Punctuation problem
that,
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 there was a pond for
water
Use synonyms
 plants as well. In the present time, the facilities
has
Correct subject-verb agreement
have
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modernized
Change the spelling
modernised
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 in a very
children-friendly
Replace the word
child-friendly
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 way, to illustrate
;
Punctuation problem
,
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 the pond for
water
Use synonyms
 plants has
replaced
Verb problem
been replaced
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to
Change preposition
by
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 the children's play area.
Moreover
Linking Words
, the fount
replaced
Verb problem
was replaced
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 with the rose garden
surronded ny
Correct your spelling
surrounded by
seats
Use synonyms
and
Punctuation problem
, and
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 the stage
renovated
Verb problem
was renovated
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to
Change preposition
into
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amphitheatre
Correct article usage
an amphitheatre
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 for concerts. What is more, a cafe took place with
rose
Correct article usage
a rose
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 garden
and
Punctuation problem
, and
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 there is a
water
Use synonyms
 feature
instead
Linking Words
 of
glasshouse
Correct article usage
a glasshouse
show examples
.

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structure
Plan with clear blocks: intro, overview, then two parts for 1920 and today. Use simple links.
language
Be precise with facts and spell common words correctly. Short, clear sentences help.
coherence
Make the ideas flow: use simple linking words like and, but, also, then, after that.
content
Some good attempt to compare the park now with then.
structure
An overview sentence exists to show change.
coherence
There are attempts to link ideas with 'in addition' and 'what is more'.
Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • recreational facilities
  • landscaping
  • naturalistic
  • amenities
  • formal gardens
  • ergonomic
  • symmetric designs
  • inclusive
  • accessible
  • accommodations
  • native plant species
  • societal changes
  • visitor services
  • community events
  • evolution
  • modern playgrounds
  • wildflower meadows
What to do next:
Look at other essays: