IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 2.5

Some believe technology has made our lives too complex and the solution is to lead a simpler life without technology. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Technology
Use synonyms
 has become one of the most serious issues in recent years.
Therefore
Linking Words
, many
people
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 argue that it is not important in our daily lives. I completely disagree with
this
Linking Words
 opinion because
technology
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 makes
live
Replace the word
life
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 more
convenience
Replace the word
convenient
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. Personality, it is true that
technology
Use synonyms
 brings some challenges
but
Punctuation problem
, but
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 these
results
Fix the agreement mistake
result
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 from
bad
Correct article usage
the bad
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 usage of it.
For example
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,
adults
Fix the agreement mistake
adult
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people
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 spend most of their time on social platforms watching
misbehavior
Change the spelling
misbehaviour
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 videos.
Therefore
Linking Words
, individuals should
attention
Verb problem
pay attention
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on
Change preposition
to
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 the way of
Use synonyms
use
Wrong verb form
using
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 it.
On the other hand
Linking Words
,
technology
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 is an essential part
in
Change preposition
of
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 our lives,
thus
Linking Words
people
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 need to
use
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 it for different purposes.
For instance
Linking Words
, in
universities
Add a comma
universities,
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 students need to search
about
Change preposition
for
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 information.
Whereas
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 other
people
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use
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 it to keep in touch with their friends and families when they travel abroad.
Additionally
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, it is
an
Correct article usage
apply
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important in other fields,
such
Linking Words
 as
healthcare
Correct article usage
the healthcare
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 system, banks, and transport. For these reasons, it is difficult to
life
Replace the word
live
show examples
 without
technology
Use synonyms
,
Punctuation problem
apply
show examples
 nowadays. In conclusion,
although
Linking Words
technology
Use synonyms
 has some drawbacks
Linking Words
such
Punctuation problem
, such
show examples
 as security risks, I firmly believe it
simplified
Verb problem
has simplified
show examples
 our lives in many ways.
However
Linking Words
,
people
Use synonyms
 should
use
Use synonyms
 it carefully and in order to avoid any
complex
Check wording
complications
show examples
.

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Task Response
Keep a clear view from the start. State your main point in the first sentence. Then give two or three easy reasons and end with a short restate sentence.
Coherence and Cohesion
Link ideas with short simple ties. Use words like 'and', 'but', 'also', 'however' to move ideas. Try to keep one idea in one sentence.
Language Use
Check spelling and form. Use simple and correct words. For example 'live' not 'life', 'Personally' not 'Personality'.
Strength
The writer has a clear view that tech is important and not to drop it.
Strength
Some good points are given about how tech helps in school and work.
Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

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