IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6

The diagrams below show the changes that have taken place at West Park Secondary School since its construction in 1950

The diagrams below show the changes that have taken place at West Park Secondary School since its construction in 1950
The map illustrates the alteration at West
Park
Use synonyms
 Secondary
School
Use synonyms
 from 1950 to 2010.
Overall
Linking Words
, there were some utility developments
at
Change preposition
in
show examples
school
Use synonyms
 areas
such
Linking Words
 as
Use synonyms
Car
Correct article usage
the Car
show examples
Park
Use synonyms
,
Science
Correct article usage
the Science
show examples
 block,
Use synonyms
Houses
Correct article usage
the Houses
show examples
, and
Correct article usage
the sport
show examples
sport
Fix the agreement mistake
sports
show examples
 Field,
while
Linking Words
 the
Use synonyms
school
Check wording
school's
show examples
 main building remained the same during the period.
To begin
Linking Words
 with, in 1950, there were 2 major buildings and 2 areas at West
Park
Use synonyms
 Secondary
School
Use synonyms
.
Firstly
Linking Words
,
Use synonyms
School
Correct article usage
the School
show examples
 and
Houses
Use synonyms
 were next to the main road
at
Change preposition
to
show examples
north
Correct article usage
the north
show examples
, and
Farmland
Correct article usage
the Farmland
show examples
 and Playground
located
Verb problem
were located
show examples
 behind
2
Correct article usage
the 2
show examples
main buildings. Evidently, in 1980,
houses
Use synonyms
 were replaced by a
car
Use synonyms
park
Use synonyms
 and science block
and
Punctuation problem
, and
show examples
 Farmland became a sports field
at
Change preposition
in
show examples
 the south-west section.
Although
Linking Words
 there was a major replacement for
houses
Use synonyms
 and farmland, the main building and playground remained the same. In 2010, the
car
Use synonyms
park
Use synonyms
 was expanded to the south-west area and the sports field
area
Check wording
apply
show examples
and playground
were
Check wording
areas were
show examples
shrinked
Correct your spelling
shrunk
due to
Linking Words
 the expansion of the
car
Use synonyms
park
Use synonyms
.
Lastly
Linking Words
, the
school
Use synonyms
 building and science block were irreplaceable from 1980 to 2010.

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Basic structure: Change the third paragraph.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words park, school, car, houses with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Only 3 basic words for charts were used.
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Vocabulary: The word "remained" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the third paragraph.
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