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Writing Samples
Band 7

The graph below shows changes in global food and oil prices between 2000 and 2011

The graph below shows changes in global food and oil prices between 2000 and 2011
The chart gives data on how global
food
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 and
oil
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 prices changed from 2000 to 2011.
Overall
Linking Words
, two categories experienced a significant increase over the period.
In addition
Linking Words
, changes
of
Change preposition
in
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 both categories were very similar. As the graph shows,in 2000 the
food
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price
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 index was merely 80
points
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,and the average
oil
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price
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 was close to 25$ per barrel.These numbers experienced some fluctuations until 2004,when
it
Correct pronoun usage
they
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 started steadily increasing up to 2007.
This
Linking Words
 year, the
price
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 of
oil
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 almost tripled its
price
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, to nearly 60$ per barrel,and
food
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 prices rose by about 50
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points
Check wording
per cent
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. From 2007 to 2008, a sharp rise in prices was visible in both categories, with
oil
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 reaching its peak of 130$ per barrel and the
food
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price
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 index rising to 220
points
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.
However
Linking Words
,by the beginning of 2009,the
price
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 of
oil
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 had fallen to 40$ and the
food
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's cost was down to 140
Check wording
apply
show examples
points
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.
Finally
Linking Words
,in 2011, with some fluctuations, the average cost of
oil
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 reached 100$ ,
while
Linking Words
 the
food
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price
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 index rapidly reached its peak,at 240
points
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.

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
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Conclusion: The conclusion is too long.
Vocabulary: Replace the words food, oil, price, points with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: The word "changed" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "reached" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "fluctuations" was used 2 times.
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