IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5.5

Schools should focus more on teaching practical skills, such as financial literacy and communication, instead of traditional academic subjects. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

In recent years, fast
food
Use synonyms
 has become a daily part of human life, which causes
people
Use synonyms
 to face various health problems. Some
people
Use synonyms
 say that our government needs to adjust the tax on fast
food
Use synonyms
 and promote healthier eating habits. I think fast
food
Use synonyms
 is convenient and tasty, but
people
Use synonyms
 should eat it carefully and raise awareness of environmental protection. Most
people
Use synonyms
 in Taiwan love to eat fast
food
Use synonyms
 because it is convenient and delicious. Since most fast
food
Use synonyms
 is deep-fried, it is very quick to make.
However
Linking Words
, eating too much of it increases the risk of cardiovascular disease, so I suggest that
people
Use synonyms
 eat less.
In addition
Linking Words
, there is a large amount of packaging waste. Fast
food
Use synonyms
 is mostly takeaway, so it includes many one-time containers
such
Linking Words
 as paper boxes, plastic cups, and straws.
As a result
Linking Words
,
this
Linking Words
 causes environmental waste problems. I agree that the government should adjust the tax on fast
food
Use synonyms
.
For instance
Linking Words
, if we do not bring our own cups or boxes to the store, we need to pay extra money.
This
Linking Words
 would cause
people
Use synonyms
 to bring their own containers and reduce single-use plastic tableware. I
also
Linking Words
 strongly suggest that
people
Use synonyms
 eat more healthily. Nowadays, many
people
Use synonyms
 die
due to
Linking Words
 cardiovascular disease, so we must increase our awareness of
this
Linking Words
 issue. In conclusion, fast
food
Use synonyms
 is delicious and quick to make, but
people
Use synonyms
 should limit their consumption for the sake of their health and the environment.

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

task response
Say your view in the first line and then give 2 or 3 big points.
coherence cohesion
Make a plan and use 3 parts: intro, body, end.
development
Give more full facts or ideas for each point.
coherence cohesion
Use linking words like and, but, also, then, so to show order.
language
Keep language simple and error small. Use short sentences.
strength
You talk about both health and how fast food can be good in a easy way.
strength
You give a clear idea of the need to tax and this plan fits the idea well.
strength
You use an example (own cups) to show how a tax plan can work.
Word Count

IELTS says that you should write a minimum of 250 words in writing task 2. If you go under word count you will lose marks in task response.

A very long essay will not give you a higher band score.

Aim for between 260 to 290 words in writing task 2. This will ensure a concise essay and will be realistic in terms of time management. You have only 40 minutes to write the essay and you need around 10 minutes of planning time, so you will not be able to write a long essay in 30 minutes.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: