some people think it is better to make more money rather than have free time, while other perfer to have more free time rather than making money. discuss both view and give your opinion.

Some
people
Use synonyms
belive
Use the right word
believe
show examples
it is better to make more
money
Use synonyms
rather than have free
time
Use synonyms
,
while
Linking Words
other
Fix the agreement mistake
others
show examples
want more free
time
Use synonyms
rather than making
money
Use synonyms
.In my opinion,it is better
stay
Verb problem
to stay
show examples
in
balance
Use synonyms
.Having
money
Use synonyms
and spare
time
Use synonyms
makes life
more easily
Wrong verb form
easier
show examples
and
colorful
Change the spelling
colourful
show examples
. On the one hand,nowadays,
money
Use synonyms
has become an important part of our lives.Even to buy
our
Change the pronoun
the
show examples
daily needed things we spend
much
Fix the agreement mistake
a lot of
show examples
salary.I would say that,without any
Use synonyms
money
Add a comma
money,
show examples
we cannot live our lives joyfully.
As because
Change preposition
Because
show examples
,
Punctuation problem
apply
show examples
with cash we can get education as we want,take care of ourselves
Linking Words
such
Punctuation problem
, such
show examples
as buying
dress
Fix the agreement mistake
dresses
show examples
and clothes that we want,cosmetics or many other products,
making happy
Wrong verb form
make
show examples
our close
people
Use synonyms
bying
Correct your spelling
buying
them presents and
going
Wrong verb form
go
show examples
anywhere we want
any
Change preposition
without any
show examples
difficulty.And the most
an
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
important part is being able to do charities.Donating
Use synonyms
people
Change preposition
to people
show examples
who need
money
Use synonyms
or animals which abandoned or homeless pets in the streets.
Besides
Linking Words
,there are some main problems.
For instance
Linking Words
,long work hours can lead to stress,tiredness and depression
period
Check wording
apply
show examples
.You do not even have free
time
Use synonyms
for yourself,spending less
time
Use synonyms
with your family.
On the other hand
Linking Words
,free
time
Use synonyms
is
also
Linking Words
essential.As
we
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
Fix the agreement mistake
humans
show examples
human
Punctuation problem
human,
show examples
our mind and body require a
psycology
Correct your spelling
psychological
rest.In our
leisure
Add a comma
leisure,
show examples
we spend
time
Use synonyms
with
family
Punctuation problem
family,
show examples
that
Correct pronoun usage
which
show examples
makes us happy.
Moreover
Linking Words
,take up a hobby like reading,drawing,
watching
Correct word choice
or watching
show examples
films.
As a result
Linking Words
,we become happy,
calmly
Replace the word
calm
show examples
and more
positively
Replace the word
positive
show examples
.But,there is
nuance
Correct article usage
a nuance
show examples
is
Use the right word
in
show examples
lack
Correct article usage
the lack
show examples
of
money
Use synonyms
and
therefore
Linking Words
there
Punctuation problem
, there
show examples
is no need to relax too much.
Thus
Linking Words
,we need to maintain
balance
Use synonyms
.
Overall
Linking Words
,it is a vital
balance
Use synonyms
between funds and
time
Use synonyms
is
Correct pronoun usage
that is
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
best.There are several ways to
balance
Use synonyms
them.We need to plan our days well so that
spend
Correct pronoun usage
we spend
show examples
our days
productive
Replace the word
productively
show examples
.
Linking Words
Also
Add a comma
Also,
show examples
do not spend on the products that we do not actually need.Both
money
Use synonyms
and
time
Use synonyms
play an important role in
human's
Correct article usage
a human's
show examples
life.
Therefore
Linking Words
,
instead
Linking Words
of choosing one over the other,
people
Use synonyms
should
atrive
Correct your spelling
strive
to find a
balance
Use synonyms
between work and personal life to achieve satisfaction and well-being.

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task response
Have a clear view in the first line. State your stance in the intro.
coherence
Start each body with a topic sentence that links to the view, then give one or two clear examples.
coherence
Use small linking words to show order and link ideas, and keep sentences short.
structure
End with a short conclusion that restates your view.
language
Check spell and grammar. Use easy words and short sentences.
content
The essay shows a balanced view and a clear main idea that balance can be best.
content
It gives reasons for why money helps daily life.
structure
There is a basic structure with two sides and a closing idea.
Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general
Topic Vocabulary:
  • money
  • time
  • work
  • job
  • income
  • save
  • spend
  • buy
  • home
  • family
  • health
  • stress
  • rest
  • free time
  • hobbies
  • balance
  • security
  • plan
  • choice
  • risk
  • joy
  • happiness
  • life
  • like
  • need
  • want
  • idea
  • opinion
  • view
  • conclusion
  • career
  • hours
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