IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4

Most developed countries spend a large proportion of their health budgets on expensive medical technology and procedures. This money should be spent instead on health on education to keep people well. To what to extend do you agreed or disagree with this opinion

There is no denying the fact that advanced technology plays a vital role in treatment procedures
in
Change preposition
over
show examples
 the
last
Linking Words
 decades.
While
Linking Words
 it is a commonly held belief that the majority of countries disburse a large amount of money on
this
Linking Words
 technology, there is
also
Linking Words
 an argument that
this
Linking Words
 fund may have beneficial effects when
spend
Wrong verb form
spent
show examples
it
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
on
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
education to maintain people's
'
Punctuation problem
apply
show examples
 knowledge.
To begin
Linking Words
 with, many nations
Verb problem
are concern
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concern
Replace the word
concerned
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 about digital devices in
medical
Correct article usage
the medical
show examples
fields
Fix the agreement mistake
field
show examples
.
In other words
Linking Words
, they believe that sophisticated machines can bring greater success for patients' veracity,
such
Linking Words
 as
provide
Wrong verb form
providing
show examples
 specialists with a provisional diagnosis and a suitable treatment plan.
In addition
Linking Words
, a huge number of
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
doctors preferred to use
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
modern robotics in
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
complex operations, like cancer removal, open-heart surgery and
check-ups
Fix the agreement mistake
check-up
show examples
 instruments.
For example
Linking Words
, statistics in distinct lands
demonstrates
Correct subject-verb agreement
demonstrate
show examples
 that
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
new aims have an essential
impacts
Fix the agreement mistake
impact
show examples
 on individuals' health and the quality of life. Another point to consider is that another part of the community says that
government
Correct article usage
the government
show examples
 should expenses on education to improve the awareness levels and
supporting
Wrong verb form
support
show examples
 the concept of
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
prevention better than the cure.
Moreover
Linking Words
, they
thinks
Correct subject-verb agreement
think
show examples
 that these measures have many pros for the economic system.
Furthermore
Linking Words
, mitigating
patients
Check wording
patients'
show examples
 flow to hospitals.
For instance
Linking Words
, some research conducted in the National Health
Center
Change the spelling
Centre
show examples
 showed that
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
protective
ways
Check wording
measures
show examples
 had the main
impacts
Fix the agreement mistake
impact
show examples
to prevent
Change preposition
in preventing
show examples
 the
diseases
Check wording
apply
show examples
spread or develop. In conclusion, despite people having different views, I tend to believe that all systems should pay attention
on
Change preposition
to
show examples
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
new innovations and research rather than the traditional methods.

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task response
Be clear on your view. State if you agree or disagree with the idea in the prompt. Then give one main reason.
coherence
Make your ideas easy to read. Put one idea in each paragraph. Use simple link words like and, but, also, for example.
lexical
Use only common words. Avoid hard words. Check spelling and grammar.
examples
Give at least one clear example for your point and explain how it links to your claim.
conclusion
End with a short view that restates your main point.
structure
The essay has a clear four-part shape: intro, 2 body parts, and conclusion.
content
Some good ideas are shown, and you try to use examples.
Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

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