IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4

Young people are often influences in their behaviours and situations by others of the same age. This is called peer pressure. are the advantages outweigh disadvantage

It is often believed that mostly youngsters are affected in terms of behaviours from
Use synonyms
others
Fix the agreement mistake
other
show examples
 people of their same age group. There are more downsides of
this
Linking Words
 trend in
case
Correct article usage
the case
show examples
 of young people than benefits that will be discussed in the upcoming paragraphs. One of the main advantages of peer
pressure
Use synonyms
 is
socialization
Change the spelling
socialisation
show examples
, because when there are a lot of students in the classrooms,
then
Linking Words
 they not only try to involve themselves in
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
group
activities
Use synonyms
, but
also
Linking Words
 learn the advantages of
team
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teamwork
show examples
 work
such
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 as helping nature and basic
etiquitees
Correct your spelling
etiquette
. In
this
Linking Words
 way, spending time with
others
Use synonyms
 of their same age group, they can develop
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
positive habits
inside
Change preposition
within
show examples
them
Correct pronoun usage
themselves
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. On the other side, the first
one
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
drawback of
Correct article usage
the influences
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influences
Fix the agreement mistake
influence
show examples
 of
Use synonyms
others
Check wording
others'
show examples
 behaviours is
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
enagaging
Correct your spelling
engaging
 in harmful and negative
activities
Use synonyms
.
As
Change preposition
apply
show examples
,
Punctuation problem
apply
show examples
when
Fix capitalization
When
show examples
 children see
others
Use synonyms
are involving
Wrong verb form
involved
show examples
 in bad
activities
Use synonyms
Linking Words
for
Punctuation problem
, for
show examples
 example: in robbery and other crime cases,
then
Linking Words
 they
also
Linking Words
 try to imitate their
bahaviour
Correct your spelling
behaviour
 in their real life as well.
Thus
Linking Words
, these
activities
Use synonyms
 often have
worse
Correct article usage
a worse
show examples
 impact on their life. Another disadvantage of
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
peer
pressure
Use synonyms
 is the feeling of
less
Verb problem
being less
show examples
 confident than
others
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, because when children take part in extracurricular
activities
Use synonyms
Linking Words
for
Punctuation problem
, for
show examples
 instance:
quiz
Correct article usage
a quiz
show examples
 with other students. If they failed in competition
from
Change preposition
with
show examples
others
Use synonyms
,
this
Linking Words
 thing
lead
Wrong verb form
led
show examples
 to
disencouragement
Correct your spelling
discouragement
 among the students.
Hence
Linking Words
,
this
Linking Words
pressure
Use synonyms
have
Correct subject-verb agreement
has
show examples
negative
Correct article usage
a negative
show examples
infulence
Correct your spelling
influence
 on their
overall
Linking Words
 development. In conclusion,
although
Linking Words
 there is one
benefits
Fix the agreement mistake
benefit
show examples
 of peer
pressure
Use synonyms
, its
negetive
Correct your spelling
negative
 effects can not be
negelected
Correct your spelling
neglected
 as they have
worse
Correct article usage
a worse
show examples
 impact on their mental
well being
Use the right word
well-being
show examples
 and self-confidence.

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task response
Answer the question with a clear view: say if advantages are more than disadvantages, and give a clear yes or no.
structure
Make a simple plan before you write. Intro, 2-3 body ideas, short conclusion.
grammar
Use simple, correct language and fix spellings and wrong forms.
structure
There is a clear intro, body and ending.
content
Both sides are touched on in some way.
Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

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