IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

Some people believe that teenagers should be required to do unpaid community work in their free time. This can beneficial for teenagers and the community as well. Do you agree or disagree?

Community
Use synonyms
services
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 play a vital role
to foster
Change preposition
in fostering
show examples
 a sense of
belonginess
Correct your spelling
belonging
 with
society
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. Many individuals believe that young
people
Use synonyms
 should join unpaid
community
Use synonyms
services
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 in their leisure time, as
this
Linking Words
 will benefit both
society
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 and
teenagers
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. I agree with the notion, as when participants work for
Use synonyms
community
Correct article usage
the community
show examples
, it fosters social values and
connection
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 among
people
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, and
teenagers
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 can learn several practical
skills
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.
To begin
Linking Words
 with, there are many communities
who
Correct pronoun usage
that
show examples
 encourage
people
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 to join them to help
society
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, especially younger individuals. When they engage in social
services
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 in their free time, it can build their deeper
connection
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 with
society
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.
Moverover
Correct your spelling
Moreover
,
teenagers
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 can create strong bonds with their neighbours and
community
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 members.
For example
Linking Words
, there are many schools in Canada
,
Punctuation problem
apply
show examples
who
Correct pronoun usage
that
show examples
 often
encouarge
Correct your spelling
encourage
 their students to do unpaid
community
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works
Fix the agreement mistake
work
show examples
; as it brings them more close to
society
Use synonyms
's values and ethics, when they help to donate food and warm clothes to
underprivaleged
Correct your spelling
underprivileged
people
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.
Furthermore
Linking Words
, younger
people
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 can learn many
skills
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 during these unpaid
community
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 works. Many individuals forge deeper
Use synonyms
connection
Fix the agreement mistake
connections
show examples
 with others through their communication
skills
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, and
It
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it
show examples
also
Linking Words
bulid
Correct your spelling
builds
confident
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confidence
show examples
.
In addition
Linking Words
 to
this
Linking Words
, when
teenagers
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 work in
soical
Correct your spelling
social
services
Use synonyms
 they learn
team-work
Use the right word
teamwork
show examples
skills
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, which will serve them in their future, especially
at
Change preposition
in
show examples
workplace
Correct article usage
the workplace
show examples
.
For instance
Linking Words
, an individual
when
Correct word choice
who
show examples
participate
Correct subject-verb agreement
participates
show examples
 in
community
Use synonyms
services
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 and
gain
Correct subject-verb agreement
gains
show examples
 practical knowledge
,
Punctuation problem
apply
show examples
 usually
perform
Correct subject-verb agreement
performs
show examples
 quite great in public dealing jobs. In conclusion, I believe unpaid
community
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 work should be compulsory for
teenagers
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, as it
servers
Replace the word
serves
show examples
 several benefits to both
society
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 and younger
people
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. Because
,
Punctuation problem
apply
show examples
 learning practical
skills
Use synonyms
 and fostering a deeper
connection
Use synonyms
 with
society
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 are the prime advantages.

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structure
Plan what you want to say before you write. Use 2 main ideas and keep them in view.
cohesion
Use clear link words to show order and ideas. For example: First, Next, Also, For example.
grammar
Be careful with grammar. Check spelling and word form so the words fit.
content
Stay on task. Do not add ideas that do not fit the prompt.
conclusion
Finish with a short, clear ending that repeats your view.
response
You show a clear view and take a side.
structure
There is a correct start, body and end in the essay.
content
Some examples are used to back up ideas.
Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

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