In many countries, young people spend less time outdoors than in the past. Why is this happening? What can be done to encourage young people to spend more time outside?

In general, young people have been spending less of their time outdoors. It is now quite common to see young ones in their rooms rather than on the playground. There are likely a number of reasons for

this

Linking Words

problem to occur internationally. One common view is that technology plays the main role in

this

Linking Words

issue.

Firstly

Linking Words

, the number of entertaining activities has greatly increased. There is a large variety of games that can be played in teams or individually.

Furthermore

Linking Words

, access to most information is available on online platforms. Teenagers do not have to go to libraries or exchange their notes, as they can easily find the needed knowledge on websites like Wikipedia. Another reason for

this

Linking Words

change in

behavior

Change the spelling

behaviour

show examples

is the appearance of new methods of communication. Nowadays, young people communicate through social networks

such

Linking Words

as Instagram, Skype, and Twitter.

This

Linking Words

kind of interaction can deliver a large amount of information, but it

also

Linking Words

damages real-life communication skills. Scientists have proved that younger generations feel uncomfortable making phone calls and prefer texting. In order to motivate teenagers to take

interest

Correct article usage

an interest

show examples

in outdoor activities, a few measures have been proposed: encouraging children to have a more responsible attitude toward their screen time, integrating outdoor activities into the education system, and explaining the benefits of open-air recreation. In conclusion, the use of gadgets should be regulated in order to maintain balance in our lives and to have a healthy relationship with the reality that surrounds us.

acaitaz

Oct 27, 2025

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

content

Add more clear and specific examples to back up claims, such as stats or real studies, and give more steps under each solution.

structure

Check linking between ideas. Use topic sentences to start each paragraph and a few linking words to connect ideas.

clarity

Be more precise in your claim. Some sentences are general. Use exact ideas and avoid vague words.

grammar

Work on grammar; some phrases like 'the problem to occur internationally' can be cleaner. Use simpler phrasing.

content

Introductory idea is clear and the plan is shown early.

structure

There is a clear order with intro, body, and conclusion.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

for example
for instance
to illustrate this
to give a clear example
such as
namely
to illustrate
take, for example

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Do you want to check your IELTS essays?

Submit unlimited essays, letters and charts. Sign up right now and start improving your writing skills.

5
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
0
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
2
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 7.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 7.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

5 paragraphs

245 words

🚀 Prepare for IELTS writing section today!

Unlimited Task 1 & Task 2 checks
Practice with essays, charts, and letters.
Personalized suggestions & mistake analysis
Spot every mistake and boost your score.
Topic ideas & vocabulary helpers
Expand your ideas and use the right words.
Progress tracking
Watch your writing improve with every practice.

What to do next:

Look at other essays:

6.5
band
Young people often copy the behaviour of famous people, so celebrities should only be allowed to advertise healthy food or drink and should not encourage unhealthy habits such as smoking. Do you agree or disagree?
Young people look up to celebrities and can be easily influenced by them. Because of this, some people believe that there should be restrictions on what celebrities can advertise, or on how they behave. In my view, this seems a little unreasonable.
7
band
2) There is an increasing trend around the world of married couples deciding not to have children. Discuss the advantages and disadvantages for couples who decide to do this.
These days the proportion of married people without offspring has increased at an astounding rate throughout the globe. This essay will suggest that the main benefit of couples who have no children can focus on their careers but have no one to look after them when they get old is the primary drawback.
7.5
band
Some people believe that violence on television and in computer games has a damaging effect on society. Others deny that these factors have any significant influence on people's behaviour. What is your opinion?
Nowadays there are countless TV channels that can be accessed at a glance. Some of them have graphical figures that might have damaging effects on people, especially children. In addition, some video games, also have these bad consequences. Some argue that they should be restricted. However, others disagree with that idea. In this essay, I will outline both views.
8
band
Some people think that the government is wasting money on the arts and that this money could be better spent elsewhere. To what extent do you agree with this viewpoint?
It is being argued that government expenditures should go on something more beneficial than the arts. This essay, however, strongly disagrees with the statement because investment in the arts will help a country to represent its history and culture as well as it has the potential to generate revenue like other public services.
6
band
Many governments invest a great deal of money in space research. What are the advantages and potential disadvantages of spending money on space exploration? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.
Humankind is curious by nature, and it is this curiosity that drives our fascination with outer space. Globally, there are several countries that spend billions annually on space programs that seek to send people to space, discover new planets or simply uncover new information. In this essay, I will outline what I consider to be the two main benefits that can be gained from spending on such research, as well as some drawbacks of this investment.

In many countries, young people spend less time outdoors than in the past. Why is this happening? What can be done to encourage young people to spend more time outside?

Young people often copy the behaviour of famous people, so celebrities should only be allowed to advertise healthy food or drink and should not encourage unhealthy habits such as smoking. Do you agree or disagree?

2) There is an increasing trend around the world of married couples deciding not to have children. Discuss the advantages and disadvantages for couples who decide to do this.

Some people believe that violence on television and in computer games has a damaging effect on society. Others deny that these factors have any significant influence on people's behaviour. What is your opinion?

Some people think that the government is wasting money on the arts and that this money could be better spent elsewhere. To what extent do you agree with this viewpoint?

Many governments invest a great deal of money in space research. What are the advantages and potential disadvantages of spending money on space exploration? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.